Hypocritical Oath
by Swordwriter
Summary: Kate escapes a abusive relationship and seeks comfort from Castle Rated M for subject matter possible triggers
1. Chapter 1

**Hypocritical Oath**

**By Swordwriter**

_Author's Note: I am writing this story inspired by the story Loose Ends by NikolitaNiko and with her kind permission. Thank you. This story is AU and I realize that both Rick and Kate are ooc according to the canon of the show. That's one of the reasons that it's AU. I have interpreted parts of Rick's character very different than in Loose Ends or the show for that matter. As for the subject matter, I consider domestic abusers of any kind total scum and all of our legal punishments are much too lenient. Domestic abuse, no matter how minor should be a felony carrying a minimum penalty of five years in prison without chance of parole or time off for good behavior or credit for time served before trial, Ramping up from there depending on the severity of the injury up to and including life without parole._

**Disclaimer: The show Castle and its characters are the property of Andrew Marlowe and ABC.**

**Chapter One: I will care for you.**

Rick Castle woke up for the second time that morning, on the couch. Kate Becket was huddled against the couch, wrapped in Rick's comforter, one slender hand enmeshed with his larger one. She had come to him last night, from a women's transition house after being abused and violated by her boyfriend. He had comforted her as huddled on the floor of his bathroom holding her gently as she cried and told him about her ordeal.

Rick had put her in his own bed and retreated to the couch for the night. He had awakened to find her on the floor, leaning against the couch, obviously having sought him out in the night for comfort. Rick's heart ached to see her in this condition with bruises marring her delicate features and her arms and legs. Her wrist was sore and her ankle either sprained or strained.

What was far worse, in his mind were the psychological bruising on her mind and her fragile heart. Rick loved her like he'd loved no other woman in his life and he had so wanted to be the one she loved and trusted. The one she came home to. Oh how much he wished that the first time that she'd been in his bed was under far different circumstances. But now, it was likely that she'd never fully trust any man and sex would be revolting to her.

Nevertheless, he would always love her and take care of her as much as she'd let him. Kate woke up and gave Rick a tentative smile. She hurt all over and didn't want to move but the pressure on her bladder was making it imperative. She tried to stand but cried out in pain as she put weight on her ankle. "Rick, help me, please."

Rick knelt beside her and said, "What do you need Kate?" Trying and failing to hold back her tears, she said, "I need to go to the bathroom." Rick slid one arm under her legs, one behind her back and effortlessly rose to his feet cradling her to his chest. She wanted to protest but she hurt too much and it felt so good to nestle against that broad chest.

Despite her injuries and shock the core woman was still there. Castle was wearing only boxers and a t-shirt. Kate had never seen him in anything but dress clothes and she couldn't help but admire the massive, muscular arms and the sculpted chest revealed by the thin t-shirt. She'd thought that Josh was well built and he was but nothing like Castle. She knew that to be built like that Castle had to work out a lot.

Castle set her down and said," Call when you're finished and I'll draw a bath for you. Mother will come in to help you get in and out of the tub." Before she could protest, he held up his hand. "Before you say anything Kate, you have nothing to be ashamed of and Mother will understand. You see, she's been where you are."

A few minutes later Kate sat on a bench in the bathroom. She couldn't believe this place. You could fit her living room and kitchen inside it. The glassed in shower had two separate shower heads. The tub was huge and there was a separate Jacuzzi. There were two separate vanities with sinks.

Castle ran a bath for her and set out an array of soaps and bath oils. Martha came in and Castle left. Martha helped Kate undress and slip into the tub. Kate lay back and relaxed into the soothing water. As she lay there Martha said, "Katherine, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Even the strongest woman has her weak moments and can become entrapped in a bad situation. I know I was. Richard was 15. I met a fellow actor who seemed to take an interest in Richard as well as loving me or so I thought. He became more and more controlling and the sex rougher. One night he forced me into anal sex. It hurt. He made one serious mistake. Richard was supposed to be spending the night with a friend. His friend got sick and Richard came home.

He heard me crying. Peter tried to throw Richard out, while bragging about what he'd done to me. I've never seen such a terrible anger before or since. Have you ever really noticed the size of Richard's hands? He beat that man to a bloody pulp and would have castrated him if I hadn't stopped him."

Despite her own injuries Kate was appalled at what had happened to Martha so long ago. After all, Josh had sexually assaulted her but hadn't managed to get his penis inside her. Martha had been brutally raped and still she had not only survived but had triumphed and by all accounts still had an active enjoyable sex life. That helped Kate. Not a lot at the moment but it helped.

After Kate had bathed and used some of Martha's make up products she donned one of Martha's robes and Martha helped her back to Castle's bed. Castle came in a few minutes later with a breakfast tray loaded with Strawberry Crepes, scrambled eggs, bacon, coffee and orange juice. Kate's eyes opened wide in surprise as he carefully placed the tray over her lap. In addition to the food, a linen napkin and silverware the tray held a vase with a single yellow rose the symbol of friendship. Kate's lovely eyes filled with tears not of sorrow but of gratitude.

She choked up as she tried to find the words to express how thankful she was for the care she was shown and how safe she felt in the Castle loft. Castle shushed her. He smiled as he brushed his fingertips across her brow. "It's okay Kate you don't need to say anything. Just eat your breakfast and I'll be back in after I eat mine." Kate surprised herself that after what she'd endured she felt regret and a little hurt that Castle hadn't brought his own breakfast on a tray to eat with her.

When she finished eating and had taken some ibuprofen her spirits lifted a little. Castle came in and said, "Kate, if you want me to, I can go to your place and retrieve your guns and badge. Mother can go with me and pick up some clothes and personal products. You're going to stay here for a few days at least. That bastard might be able to get into your apartment. I want you to be safe." Kate would not have accepted such an arrangement in the normal course of things but now she was so frightened and traumatized that Castle's loft felt like heaven to her.

Castle gently cupped Kate's face in his large hands. "When we get back, I'm taking you to see a doctor. I want you thoroughly checked out and your ankle and wrist treated. Don't worry she is a friend of mine and discrete."

Kate rolled her eyes and said, "Rick, I don't need to go to a doctor. I'll heal on my own in a few days." As she watched his face, she noticed a change, from concern to determination.

"Kate, what would you do if I got beaten during a case? You would insist that I see a doctor. You know that you would. So I'm insisting that you give me the same courtesy." A note had crept into his voice that she'd never heard before, a note of command. Not the nasty note of dominance, contempt and even maybe hate that was in Josh's voice but the same concerned note a parent might have with a reluctant child.

Kate blushed, then nodded. She couldn't deny him the peace of mind that an examination would bring. She dresses quickly, with Martha's help , navy slacks and a simple white shirt, a gray blazer and Martha produces a pair of soft embroidered slippers. Kate's feet are like the rest of her, fine-boned, elegant. Castle wraps her ankle in an Ace bandage, furious as he sees the discoloration just below her ankle.

He makes a silent vow, he's been thinking about this since last night. Josh Davidson made the worst mistake of his sadistic life when he abused Kate Beckett. Rick Castle would prefer to let the law handle this but Kate would be dragged into court and humiliated in front of her peers. Kick-ass Kate Beckett couldn't even take care of herself? That's not going to happen. Her career would be damaged if not ruined. With a good lawyer Davidson might even beat the charges or get a minimal sentence. The so called justice system was about laws not justice. Rick was interested in justice, retribution not revenge.

The ride to the Doctor's office was short and the office was empty except for the receptionist, a nurse and the doctor. Rick had called ahead and arranged for the doctor to skip most of the questions usually asked, except the vital ones. There were no insurance forms as Dr. Cabello was doing everything free of charge. She owed Rick a huge favor. Her daughter had been severely injured on a family trip and no public air ambulance was available. Dr. Cabello had been an intern and a single mother at the time and couldn't afford a private aircraft. Angela Cabello had been a childhood friend of Rick's. She'd panicked and called Rick.

He'd chartered a private air ambulance and had the child flown to the best children's hospital in the tri-state area, refusing any payment over the years, claiming that he would have missed a lot of meals as a youth if it hadn't have been for Angela's mother.

The doctor was with Kate for nearly an hour and a half before she called Rick in to join them. She smiled at Rick. "Thankfully Ms. Beckett has no internal injuries or broken bones. She has a number of painful but not serious contusions and a severely sprained ankle. I recommend that she stay off the ankle as much as possible for the next week. I've written a prescription for Ibuprofen and a light massage with essential oils might help. I also recommend crutches when you do move around." Kate had some bruising on her vaginal walls but that didn't need to be discussed.

Castle stood, Smiled and said, "Thank you for everything Angela. I really appreciate it." Angela returned the smile, her dark eyes going soft as she hugged Rick. "It was my pleasure Rick. Laurie and I can never thank you enough. You saved her life. By the way, Mama and Laurie would love to have you over for dinner sometime soon. It's been almost three years Rick."

"Has it been that long? Sorry Angela I have been rather busy." Angela gave a slight frown. "Too busy to see old friends? If that's true, you're working way too hard, make it soon Rick."

Castle helped Kate to the car and seated her. She gave him a sly look and said.

"Is the good doctor an old girlfriend, Castle? She's very pretty."

Castle looked shocked. "Angela, girlfriend? Eww, no Kate. I've known her since I was five or six. She's like a sister to me. It would feel like incest. I may get my Kink on once in a while but I'm not that Kinky."

Kate didn't say anything else but somehow she felt a slight rise in her spirits. A soft smile touched her lips. When she was able to put this behind her and she would, she was going to have to find out about that kink."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: Sanctuary**

Rick took Kate back to the loft and got her settled on the couch and fixed her a late lunch of a bowl of soup and a half sandwich. He placed it on the coffee table along with a cup of coffee. He smiled and gently touched her hair, thankful that she didn't flinch at his touch. "Just relax, beautiful, I've got a couple of errands to run, I'll be back in a couple of hours. He first went to a private investigator that he'd used before. A retired cop, he was discrete and utterly trustworthy. He gave him a picture of Josh Davidson that he'd taken from Kate's apartment and all the information that he had on him. He told the man to take his time, up to several months if necessary and get a complete profile on Davidson, where he went, who he hung out with, etc.

He then went to a pharmacy, had Kate's prescription filled and bought a pair of crutches, delivering them to the loft. He left the loft again and went to a motorcycle dealer and bought a Harley-Davidson Low Rider, all black. Black leather pants and jacket, gloves, boots and a full face helmet with a dark tinted visor. He wasn't a novice, having owned several motorcycles over the years but they'd all been European sport bikes, never a Harley.

He was already planning Davidson's punishment but planning it far enough off that Josh would have no idea where it came from or why. If anything Davidson would tie it in to someone he'd pissed off in the biker sub-culture. To top it off, Davidson's image of Castle was the projected playboy or the cop wanna-be that needed protection. But far more important to him than punishing Davidson was concentrating on healing Kate's injuries both physical and mental and restoring her self-confidence.

He was hoping that in the process she would come to love him, in a normal, mature way not in a dependent way or as a measure of gratitude. If she never did, he could live with that as long as she healed. He didn't realize that she already did love him and the whole thing with Josh started after she felt rejected by the Hamptons summer. It would take months before Kate was able to put this whole thing behind her and come to Castle whole and ready for a physical and emotional relationship. Months of hard work and therapy. But it would be months, not years.

Rick ate dinner out; knowing that dealing with the motorcycle would take a while. He called Alexis and told her that he would be late and to please fix dinner for Kate, Martha and herself. Rick got in around 9:30, to find Kate still on the couch, waiting for him. He raised an eyebrow and said, "You should be in bed, Kate why are you still up? You need to rest."

She gave him a hesitant smile. "I was waiting for you I wanted to know that you were home safe before I went to sleep." Rick sat down beside her and touched her hand.

"Kate all you need to worry about is getting well. No one is going to bother me. It's not like I'm Brad Pitt or Justin Bieber. And it's only 9:30 all the drunken drivers are still in the bars. I know that it's still hard for you to move around so let me help you into the bedroom and Mother will help you get ready for bed. Meanwhile I will make a nice hot chocolate for you."

Kate looked pained. "Castle I can't keep taking your bed, it's not right." Castle shook his head and said. "Kate the bed in the guest room is as comfortable as mine. And right now you can't navigate the stairs. The guest room has its' own bath room, so there's no problem. As soon as you can get up the stairs, easily we'll switch."

Kate was too tired to argue with him and besides, what he said made sense. Before the abuse the idea of staying in Castle's loft for an indefinite time would have been unthinkable. Kate was much too independent. Now, the sense of safety and security here was such a comfort to her that not being here was unthinkable. Another blessing for her was Martha. There was such a motherly vibe coming from her that Kate reveled in it. She missed her own mother so much that having Martha close by partially filled that aching void.

She stood, but taking a step caused her to cry out, so Castle scooped her up and carried her again. So soon after the attack, any man holding her that close should have terrified her but somehow Castle had just the opposite effect. Settled in her mind, far deeper and stronger than the fear and pain that Josh had inflicted was the knowledge that this man would never intentionally hurt her, would do anything in his power to avoid hurting her and would give his life if necessary to protect her.

He set her carefully on the bed and said, "I'll be back when the chocolate is ready." Martha entered as Castle left and helped Kate to stand and remove her clothing. She then gave her a soft cotton nightgown to sleep in. The gown was brand new, one Martha had been given but she didn't like the plain white color. She also lent Kate one of her robes. Castle came in a few minutes later with a cup of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and a plate of sugar cookies. He set the tray on the bed and excused himself, saying that he had to catch up on his writing.

Sitting on the bed, sipping chocolate and nibbling on a cookie, Kate almost felt like a little girl again sitting with her mother after a troubling event. Martha just rambled on, not saying anything of importance, just telling her of amusing episodes from the stage.

Finishing her snack Kate felt her eyelids growing heavy and her head starting to nod. Martha helped her remove the robe then tucked her in to bed just as she had done for Richard, so many years ago. Kate sighed as she felt Martha's gentle kiss on her forehead, so like her mother's.

Castle closed and locked both doors leading into his office cum study, the one from the bedroom and the one from the living room. He went into his safe and took out several boxes. Out of the first, he took a stainless steel Smith & Wesson model 1006 10 millimeter semi-automatic pistol. He quickly field stripped the pistol. From another box he took cleaning equipment and cleaned then lubricated it. He loaded two magazines, inserted one in the pistol and put it and the spare mag into a small safe mounted in a desk drawer. Castle was one of the very few non law enforcement personnel in New York City with a carry concealed weapon permit. Satisfied with his preparations, Castle typed a few paragraphs so that his statement wasn't an outright lie.

Martha couldn't sleep and had come downstairs to get a glass of wine when she heard something from Castle's bedroom. She checked on Kate and saw her trashing around, obviously in the throes of a nightmare. Martha sprinted up the stairs to get Castle. They both ran back down the stairs. Kate was crying and moaning, "Stop Josh, let go, you're hurting me. No, Josh, no…Martha sat on the bed and encircled Kate's shoulder. She shook her gently. "Katherine, darling wake up, wake up. You're okay, you're safe." Kate's eyes flew open and she pulled out of Martha's embrace. "Martha?"

Martha smiled. "Shhh, Katherine, you're safe, with us. That animal can't hurt you now. "Trembling, Kate said, plaintively, "Castle, I want Castle." Castle sat on the bed. He was wearing a pair of pajama pants and nothing else. "I'm here Kate, I'm right here." Kate lunged forward till she was resting against his chest. She was sobbing again. "I hurt, Castle, I hurt."

He wrapped his arms protectively around her. "I know you do. I know but it will get better. It will be alright. Mother please get a glass of water for Kate." Kate took two of the prescription strength ibuprofen then snuggled against Rick's chest again. When her breath began to slow, Castle laid her down again and rubbed her back until she was fully asleep. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and returned to the guest room.

The next morning was a repeat of the first with the menu changed to waffles and sausages and the rose changed to a white one. Alexis had an early schedule so she came home just after lunch and spent the afternoon with Kate talking about "girl things" something she couldn't do with her dad. Alexis' bubbly personality raised Kate's spirits considerably. It surprised her that the bubbly spirit was accompanied by a very high intelligence and intellectual curiosity. That evening Castle ordered in, Italian. Veal Marsala for Kate, Shrimp Scaloppini for Martha and Spaghetti Alfredo with bacon for two, which he shared with Alexis. After dinner Martha went out to an actor's workshop, Kate and Alexis settled in to watch a movie and Rick went down to the well- equipped gym in the basement and spent a lot of time on both the heavy-bag and the speed bag.

The next morning after another sumptuous breakfast Rick sat down with Kate, in his office. Kate had called the captain and told him that she had been in an accident and requested a month's medical leave. Rick gently took Kate's hands in his and said, "Kate, the rest of the precinct doesn't need to know what really happened to you but Captain Montgomery does. He also has to know where you are. And at the very least you're going to have to get a restraining order against Davidson. Making him stay at least 100 feet away from you at all times or within a one block radius of the 12th precinct and your apartment."

Kate was hesitant. "I know that I have to tell the captain but I'm afraid to get a restraining order against Josh. That will enrage him. What if he tries to come after me?"

Castle looked deeply into her eyes, trying to reassure her. "He'll come after you if you don't Kate. His kind keeps after a woman no matter what she says unless he is stopped. The next time if he caught you off guard he might rape you or worse. His type is cowardly. He won't push it if he's strongly confronted. And will if he isn't."

Kate still looked worried. "What if you're wrong and he comes after me anyway?"

"First of all, Kate he doesn't know where you are right now. He won't dare, anywhere near the precinct. Once you're back in your apartment we'll change the locks and install a top of the line security system. And I'll be with you anytime you're working and going to and from your apartment. I'm your partner."

Kate shook her head in denial. "Rick I can't let you keep spending money on me. I'm an independent woman. I already owe you way too much."

Castle smiled and said, I know that you are independent Kate but look it from my point of view. You deserve every cent I spend on you. If it weren't for you there would be no Nikki Heat books. And without me shadowing you they would have the details they do, so you've more than earned it. In fact, the CEO of black Pawn agrees with me. Working with your dad we've already set up a trust account for you. You'll be receiving royalties, retroactive to heat wave. All you have to do is sign the papers.

Kate was flabbergasted. "How much will that be?"

Rick shrugged. "I don't know, you'll have to talk to the accountant but it will be six figures at least. Even if you don't want the money, think how much charities could benefit from your donations. I'll have my lawyer get the restraining order for you and I think I can get Captain Montgomery to come here. I'll explain that you don't feel well enough to come in.

Kate wasn't sure that having the captain come to Rick's apartment was the best idea but she couldn't think of anything better. She went back out of the office to give Rick privacy while he made his calls. She poured herself a coffee and sat at the kitchen counter while she savored it and thought about the situation. The rich scent and exotic flavor of the specially blended, freshly ground coffee delighted her and put her thoughts in a speculative channel. Why was Rick so good to her even after the often bitchy way she treated him, flaunting her charms and then fending him off, throwing first Demming then Josh in his face.

She knew that he wanted her, sexually but he'd never pushed it beyond sly innuendos but it had to be more than that. Many men wanted to be in her bed but few had gotten there. None had ever treated her with the tender care Castle did. It shamed her that one she let in hurt her and the one she hadn't let, in never would, at least not intentionally. He'd hurt her when he took Gina to the Hamptons instead of her. But it wasn't intentional and more her fault than his. In that moment her resolve hardened. She would get over this. She would be whole again and then she would finally open her heart to him and claim his love for her own.

Another seeming contradiction that she intended to solve was Rick himself. He always seemed so much like the rather soft playboy, not timid in any way but somehow hesitant. That didn't jive with the hard bodied man she'd seen the other night or the flash of cold fury she'd seen in his eyes as he cataloged her injuries. Briefly, she'd seen another Rick Castle under that exterior camouflage, someone dangerous, even deadly. An avenger.

While Kate was musing Rick was making calls. His first was to Captain Montgomery asking him to meet him at his loft but not explaining why only that Kate was at the loft and needed to talk to the captain, not feeling well enough to come to the precinct. Castle promised the captain that he wouldn't be wasting his time. Captain Montgomery agreed. The second call was to the number that Castle found for the Manhattan Transition House. He asked for Melanie. When she answered he gave her his landline and his cell phone and told her that she was free to call at any time if she wanted to talk to Kate. He also asked if they had a post office box. She gave him the post office and box number. As soon as he hung up, he called his bank and told his financial advisor to send a check for $5,000 dollars to the shelter.

He emerged from his office and told her that the captain would be here around noon. Kate's nerves took a beating waiting for the captain. She didn't have any idea how he would react to what she had to tell him. What she certainly didn't want was his pity. It had both surprised and pleased her that Castle hadn't shown pity. Care, compassion, concern, anger but not pity. And the anger was directed solely at Josh.

Captain Montgomery arrived promptly. Castle invited him in. He escorted the captain to his office where Kate was waiting for him. Castle then left them alone and went to prepare lunch for the three of them. Kate told her story as briefly and succinctly as she could emphasizing why she didn't want charges filed. Captain Montgomery was furious at what happened and uneasy about not filing charges but finally agreed and would stick with the story that Kate had been injured in a fall. But if Davidson caused any more trouble, all bets were off.

After their discussion they emerged to find that Castle had a simple but delicious lunch waiting for them. He'd grilled some bratwurst wrapped in bacon served on a baguette, baked beans, sliced tomatoes and iced tea with their choice of ice cream for dessert. The conversation over lunch was somewhat stilted as to be expected but amicable enough. Kate was able to relax and enjoy the food as the first hurdle had been passed and the captain had authorized a month's sick leave after which she would have to be evaluated.

After lunch the captain had to get back. Castle said that he'd walk him out. It was obvious to Kate that they had something to say to each other that they didn't want her to hear. She still strained to hear anything. All she could hear was; …"Your back Lieutenant_." Lieutenant, what was that all about? _Kate wondered.

Castle told Kate that he had to go out and do a few things and to make herself at home. Would she be alright by herself? Kate agreed that she would. Castle showed her the remote control for the security system and where the panic button was. If she felt threatened she was to go into his study and push the panic button. That would alert the security company, call his phone and turn the study into a safe room.

After he was gone and Kate had taken her pain medication she decided to satisfy her curiosity about Rick's wardrobe. He'd given her a drawer in his dresser and moved some of his clothes to the guestroom closet giving her room for some of hers. She opened his closet door to look around. Most of his slacks and sport coats hung on the same hanger for coordination. There were also a number of slacks and sport shirts hanging separately. There were also a dozen suits three tuxedos and two white dinner jackets. At the end of the huge walk in closet was a partition with a curtain in front of the rack. She slid the curtain aside and was shocked to see a number of blue, khaki and white uniform coats hanging there. On the shelf above were a white and a khaki hat which Kate realized were Navy officer's hats.

She lifted one of the blue coats off the rod for a closer look. There were three gold bands around the cuff; three rows of ribbons on the left breast and above the ribbons a gold insignia consisting of an eagle, a trident, an anchor and a flintlock pistol. Kate laid the coat on the bed and using her phone's camera, took a picture of the coat. Hanging the coat back exactly where it was she slid the curtain back into place and closed the closet door. Going back into the study, Kate sent the picture and a text to Esposito. _"Esposito, I don't know much about the military. I recognize the coat as that of a navy officer but that's all. What does the rest of it mean?"_

It only took a few minutes for the answer to come back. _"Hey boss, where are you and what are you doing? Whatever it is, you'd better put that back where you found it, exactly as you found it. That's the uniform of a commander in the navy, equivalent of a lieutenant colonel in the army. That particular commander, whoever it is, wears the Navy Cross, the nation's second highest award for valor. Worse than that he is a Navy Seal._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Guardian**

Kate went back out to the living room and sat on the couch. She badly wanted a glass of wine after the shock of her discovery but it was much too early in the day and probably a very bad idea considering her pain meds. Rick Castle a Navy Seal! How good an actor he must be to conceal something like that, especially from Esposito who had been an elite soldier. Most of them could sense something in another one. She really didn't know what to think about it.

It was hard to reconcile his perceived persona with the fact that he was among the deadliest fighting men in the world. But that explained the physique and that flash of fury she'd seen. It was much too soon to even begin to act on her resolve but deep within her something primal, the essential female thrilled and rejoiced that here was her guardian, eventually, here was her mate. Something in her sub-conscious, something savage said that when she was ready, when she staked her claim, woe to any other female that encroached on her territory.

She was annoyed and a little hurt that he'd never confided in her. After all, Esposito never bragged about his actions in the service but he didn't hide the fact either. Thinking about it, Kate realized that she didn't have any reason to be hurt or even annoyed. She'd never indicated to Castle that he was anything more than a friend and partner. He had no reason to tell her his secrets.

If she couldn't have a glass of wine, she could have coffee. Castle had told her to make herself at home so she happily brewed a fresh pot of the delicious coffee she'd had earlier and went looking for creamer. She didn't find any of the powdered kind. (Of course not, what was she thinking?) She opened the refrigerator and to her delight found not only real cream but several kinds of flavored creamers. She found an extra- large mug and mixed the real cream with vanilla and hazelnut creamers and topped it off with cinnamon. She tasted her concoction and smiled. Well, if she ever had to stop being a cop she could be a barista. Kate was enjoying her second mug of coffee when Alexis came home from school. Alexis put down her books and immediately gave Kate a hug. Her crystal blue eyes shone with concern. She still didn't know what had happened to Kate, only that she'd been injured. Alexis didn't really care what the cause was. All she cared about was that Kate had been hurt and she had a self- imposed duty to care for and comfort her as much as she could.

Kate returned the hug. She could scarcely believe this amazing caring family. She wasn't old enough to be Alexis' mother, well not quite true if she'd been a careless teen but if she ever had a daughter she would want her to be like Alexis.

Kate released Alexis and said, "Would you like some coffee? It's fresh and I'd like to see what you think of my invention." Alexis accepted and Kate fixed her a cup. Alexis tasted it and grinned. "This is great Detective Beckett. It just needs one more thing. Top yours off."

Kate did and Alexis squirted a dollop of whipped cream into each cup. Kate tasted it. She grinned and said, "You're right. It's the great Kalexis coffee miracle." Both of them were laughing when Castle walked through the door. He smiled as he watched the two interact.

He was in awe of Kate's inner strength. Most women who had suffered as she had would be withdrawn and depressed. He was sure that the fright and depression were still there and very close to the surface but Kate was managing to control it, at least here. Castle quietly announced himself. "Is there any of the coffee left for me?" Alexis rolled her eyes, exactly as Kate did.

"There might be but I don't know if we want to share our awesome invention with a mere male.

Castle growled in mock anger, "You're not too old to be grounded, young lady!" Kate laughed at the exchange. "Oh give him some Alexis; I hate to see a grown man cry."

"Hey, no fair, you're ganging up on me." Castle said, with a fake pout. Alexis smirked.

"Just wait till Grams gets home Dad. Then it will be three to one." Alexis fixed the cup of coffee and handed it to her father. Castle took a sip and smiled in appreciation. Giving them both a look, he said, "This is really delicious and unique. We just might have to open a coffee shop." Kate smirked. "That would never work out Castle. We'd drink up all our profits." Castle put a fake look of hurt on his face. "Well if you have that little faith in my business acumen I think I'll go write for a while. Why don't you ladies decide what you want for dinner and I'll order take out." Castle closed the door and sat at his desk. Happy to see that Kate was still able to banter with him pretty much as she always had. It gave him hope that the emotional damage wasn't as bad as he feared.

After Castle closed the door Kate smiled at Alexis and said, "Your dad and I have ordered Chinese food a lot at work. The place we ordered from is great. Why don't I order our usual, just doubling the amount for you and Martha. This is my treat. After you all have done so much for me, you have to let me do something."

Alexis agreed, reached into a drawer and pulled out a bunch of take- out menus. Kate found one from the place she liked and she ordered four of the number three dinners, scheduling the delivery for six o'clock. Alexis assured Kate that despite what Castle said, once he got into his writing he would keep going till somebody stopped him.

Martha came in about fifteen minutes later and found them brewing another pot of coffee and Alexis ordering fresh cream. They were going to make another batch. There was still enough left of the previous pot to make a cup for Martha. After drinking it Martha gazed at the cup then said,

"Katherine, I know a small coffee shop that would love to buy this recipe from you. It is truly amazing." They discussed it for a while then decided to tell Castle about it and let his business team handle it. As it turned out, months later that recipe was purchased by a major coffee chain and made a lot of money for Alexis Kate and Martha.

When the food arrived and the deliveryman happily leaving with a nice tip, Alexis called Castle to the table, which Kate and Martha had set. Castle complained about Kate paying but a sharp reprimand from Martha shut him up.

The dinner passed in an easy companionship and after dinner they watched a movie. Around eight-thirty Kate announced that she was tired and was going to bed. Still stiff and sore Kate needed help getting ready for bed and this times Alexis helped her. As she snuggled down under the luxurious covers Kate reached over and snagged Castle's pillow and hugged it. His unique scent, a combination of his musky cologne and something else that was him, comforted her as she drifted off to sleep.

It was nearly ten o'clock and castle was settled at his desk with a glass of scotch in front of him when Alexis wandered in and sat on the edge of his desk. She had a cup of Chamomile tea in her hand. She was worried about Kate. She was wearing her pajamas but hadn't been able to sleep so she'd come back down, made the tea and came into the office. She had an expression on her face that Castle couldn't quite classify. "Dad, what really happened to Kate? I saw her bruises. That was no fall." Castle grimaced. He was afraid that this might come up and he didn't want to answer. "It's not my place to tell you Pumpkin. Kate will tell you herself when she's ready. But don't ask her. If she wants you to know she'll tell you." Alexis had just set her cup down when Kate's screams erupted from the bedroom, repeating the same words from the night before. Castle's chair went flying as surged to his feet and lunged for the door. Alexis was right behind him. Again she was thrashing around on the bed, her body drenched in sweat.

Alexis pushed past her father and leaped on the bed, wrapping her arms around Kate, pulling her into an embrace and used almost the same words Martha had. "Shhh Kate. You're safe, you're with us." And then she said the most soothing words possible. "You're safe, we love you Kate. "Kate settled down and opened her eyes. Awake but groggy. "Alexis?" Alexis smiled.

"I'm here, we're all here." Martha had just entered the room. Kate's head turned, searching for Castle. Plaintively she whispered, "Castle, hold me please, I need you." There was nothing sexual at all in that request, not even much of the woman, it was more the plea of a girl needing warmth and comfort from the strength of a gentle man. It brought forth all the empathy and compassion in him as Castle drew her against his chest and rocked her back and forth as her tears wet his shirt. At the same time that it drew out the compassion and love for this beautiful, fragile woman it deepened the already cold, dangerous rage in his core. It was a good thing that Kate's face was buried in his neck so she couldn't see the momentary mask of fury that touched his face. The kind of look that that caused all the monsters of the past to tremble in fear when the warriors came for them, the kind of look that would cause Josh Davidson to evacuate his bowels.

This was his role now and it always would be no matter what their relationship came to be. He was her guardian, her personal warrior the deadly, implacable foe of any who would attempt to harm her. One night, in the not too distant future, Josh Davidson would come to regret and pay for his crimes. And although neither he nor Castle knew it now, one vicious corrupt senator would pay the ultimate price for his crimes. Neither Richard Castle's nor Kate Beckett's hands would be the ones to administer the lethal injection, they would be the ones that led to his fall from power and finally being strapped to that gurney inside a federal prison.

All of that was in the future. Tonight, one frightened, damaged woman was basking in the warmth and love of three people who she knew would become her family. Who would be with her every step of the way back to not only the strong capable woman she used to be but an improved version. One who could love freely as she did before her mother's death.

The family that would bring her a husband who loved her unconditionally, who made her laugh openly who gave her a sex life free of guilt or pain, full of joyous expression. That gave her a daughter to love even before she had a child of her own body and a mother figure to confide in and share the joys of motherhood with.

All these things she knew, deep within her as surely as she knew her own name. At the moment though, they were buried under fear and pain and all that she could process was the need for warmth and comfort and that need could only be satisfied by the man now holding her in his arms, rocking her like a child, as he had rocked Alexis when she was hurt or sick. He held her until the sobs stopped, until she stopped shaking. Then he placed a gentle kiss on her hair. Martha checked Kate over and said, "Katherine you're soaked. Come, take a warm bath. Alexis please make some tea. Richard go do something for half an hour."

Kate really hated feeling this dependent but she was tense and her sweaty skin felt sticky so she let Martha help her into the bathroom and draw a bath for her. Alexis went to make tea and a furious, frustrated Castle went down to the basement gym. Changing into shorts and a tank top he began beating the heavy bag into submission then attacked the speed bag, his fists hitting like trip-hammers.

It was an hour before Kate was finished with her bath and settled in bed, wearing a pair of Alexis' pajamas and sipping at her tea. She asked for Castle. Martha went to get him and got worried when he was nowhere in the loft. His outdoor coat was still hanging in the hall closet and his car keys hanging on a hook in the kitchen. He wouldn't have gone for a walk would he?

It took Martha a few minutes before she remembered the gym. She quickly walked to the gym and found Castle, sitting on a bench, bent forward, his elbows on his knees. Even with the tight gloves he had been wearing, his hands were a little swollen. She was exasperated.

"Richard Castle, she snapped. What do you think you are doing? There is a young woman upstairs who needs you. Get moving!" Castle was startled. Martha seldom came on this strong but right now she was in "Momma Bear" mode. "And take a quick shower, you stink!"

Castle ran up the stairs to the guest room and took as quick a shower as he could, dressed in pajama pants and a t-shirt. He came back down to where Martha was standing by his bedroom door. She glared at him and said, "Get in there right now she needs you."

Castle entered his bedroom rather hesitantly. Kate's reactions were not what he expected them to be. She'd been abused, assaulted, she should be avoiding contact with men in any but a public place but she wasn't or at least she wasn't with him, just the opposite. His bedroom was as non- public as a place could be. She looked up as he entered and gave him a very shaky smile.

He sat on the edge of the bed and said, "Do you want to talk, Kate?" She shook her head and held out her arms. "Just hold me Castle, please hold me." He scooted over and took her in his arms. She wrapped hers around him and nestled against him. They stayed that way until he felt her body relax then he lay her down and pulled the covers up over her. He started to rise but one hand grasped his shirt. In a sleepy voice Kate said, "Don't go Rick, stay near me tonight, so I can sleep."

He feels conflicted but can't refuse her anything. He settles on the bed but she's awake enough to shake her head. "No, under…closer." He slides under the covers and lies on his back. She snuggles into his side and sighs in contentment. She's safe her body knows it as much as her mind.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Day by Day**

Kate Beckett awoke and whimpered, finding the space next to her empty, still warm but empty. She had slept a solid eight hours after snuggling up to Castle. She stretched and winced when she did. Her ankle and wrist were still very sore but the analgesic cream, skin lotion and essential oils that Martha had been rubbing into her skin had eased the pain of her bruises to a remarkable extent The bruises were still livid against her creamy skin but they would fade in time leaving her with no physical scars. The mental scars were another matter altogether. She knew that she would need a therapist to deal with those.

The loving support she was receiving from the Castle family was providing a solid emotional base to work from. She was glad that she had turned to Castle rather than her father or Lanie. As close as she was with Lanie, she was another woman. Kate need a strong yet gentle male figure in her life to counter the male image Josh left behind. Her dad was strong, she knew that. After all, he was able to battle back from alcoholism. But he was her father. She was wise enough to know that part of the strength she needed was sexual. A man whose sexuality included a gentleness and concern for her needs, her timing that would erase Josh's sexual brutality and sadism. Her father couldn't give her that.

Every sense in her body told her that when the time was right, when she was ready to give as much as she received Richard Castle would be there, waiting for her. She lay there for a few minutes not wanting to get up. The bed, with its' linen sheets and thick comforter was just so sinfully comfortable that she wanted to remain as long as she could. Her bladder though, had other ideas. She painfully lifted herself out of bed and grabbing her crutches slowly made her way to the bathroom. Finished with the commode Kate decided to take a shower, thankful that Castle's huge stall had a built in bench. She found bottles of her favorite shampoo and body wash along with a brand new loofa on a shelf. She was amazed, how did this family manage to anticipate her every need?

When she got out of the shower, she found a soft, warmed towel waiting for her as well as a fresh set of underwear laid out. _This is every woman's fantasy._ She thought. _I've never been so pampered in my life! _She slipped on the robe that was also laid out for her and carefully did her make-up. Alexis knocked then entered the bathroom.

She smiled at Kate, those blue eyes of her so much like her father's. "Kate, please let me brush your hair, your wrist must still be sore." Kate could barely answer for the lump in her throat. The last time anyone had done this for her it was her mother. Her eyes were misty as she said, "Yes, please Alexis." She relaxed as Alexis brushed her hair and then lightly sprayed it.

"Kate, later today I'm having a manicurist and a pedicurist come in to my nails, I want them to do yours too." Kate looked at Alexis in shock, her eyes wide and eyebrows raised.

"Alexis, that costs a lot of money I can't let you spend that on me." Kate said.

Alexis had learned how to do "Puppy-dog eyes when she was very young and had perfected it. "Kate, please let me do this. It's always been something I wanted to do with my mother. Just have our nails painted and talk. She'd never take the time. We'd go to a salon and she'd spend the whole time chatting with the stylist or reading a movie magazine. I'd really appreciate it if you would." Stated that way there was no way Kate could resist her. She hugged Alexis and said, "Okay Alexis I'll do it on one condition, make that two conditions. You chase your dad away on some extended errand and we do it early enough that I can order some cheese cake just for you and me without spoiling our dinner." Alexis almost bubbled with excitement at Kate's response.

Kate went into the bedroom and got out a fire red blouse and black jeans. Putting them on, she added a pair of ballet flats and exited the bedroom to find Castle lying breakfast on the table, consisting of skirt steak, fried eggs, hash browns, fruit and coffee. Kate smirked at Castle. "Are you trying to make me fat Castle, so no other guy will look at me?" Castle recoiled in mock horror. "I'm just trying to get you healthy Kate, there's no way any red-blooded man would not look at you." She sobered instantly, reached out and touched castle's hand, smiling softly. "Thank you Castle, I really am grateful you take such good care of me." _I'm more than grateful Rick, I love you and someday I am going to prove it to you beyond all doubt. I only hope that you won't give up on me and that you'll love me like I love you, love me forever. _She prayed that her thoughts weren't displayed on her face, it was much too soon.

Castle turned away and started the coffee machine. He didn't want Kate to see the emotions playing on his face either. She hadn't paid attention to the table until now and she noticed that it was only set for two people. There was a vase containing a single rose in front of each plate, a white rose in front of Alexis' plate and a lavender rose in front of hers. She couldn't hide the disappointment in her voice as she said, "You're not joining us Rick?" He was still busying himself with the coffee machine, turned away from her. "No, I already ate. I woke up hungry and I have some things to do." Kate may have been injured but there was nothing wrong with her detective skills. She knew very well that Castle wasn't being truthful with her and it hurt.

It hurt but she accepted it without making too much out of it. After all, she hadn't been truthful with him either. If she had been, she would never have been with Josh and wouldn't be in this position now. Castle poured himself a fresh cup of coffee and went into his office.

Shrugging off the hurt, Kate savored each bite of her delicious breakfast. _God I hope that I can heal enough to give myself to Castle and take him for mine before he gives up on me, on us. He hasn't told me that he loves me but every action of his tells me that he does. It would be so easy to get used to this, this family dynamic to be part of it. But what if I mess it up and I lose what we already have as friends and partners? I'm so afraid of that possibility._

Kate finished her breakfast then helped Alexis clean up. When they finished, Alexis said, "Kate I'm going to my room to study, do you need anything before I go? Kate smiled at Alexis. "No Alexis I'm fine. I think that I'll read a little." Kate read for about an hour before she decided that she needed to talk to Castle. She got up and hobbled over to his office and knocked on the door. Castle opened the door. "What's going on Kate?" He asked. She entered the office and sat on the small couch he had in there. She put her head on one side and said, "Can we talk, Castle?" Castle frowned a little. "What about, Kate?"

"Secrets Castle, I want to talk about secrets. You know all of my secrets Castle, yet you've kept a big secret from me. I don't know how you've kept it so long, especially around Javi. I'm talking about the fact that you pretend to be a klutz and yet you were a Navy Seal, an officer no less!" Castle didn't seem to be the least bit fazed, he just looked a little curious.

He got a quizzical look on his face and said, not even trying to deny it. "How did you find out?"

She blushed. "I'm sorry Castle, I snooped. When you told me to make myself at home, I wanted to see what your wardrobe was like. When I saw the curtained off area my curiosity got the better of me. I saw your uniforms. Please don't be mad at me, at least not too mad."

Castle reached out and took her hand. Smiling he said, "I'm not mad Kate, I figured that sooner or later you would find them. Yes I was a Navy SEAL. SEAL team five to be exact. But that was a long time ago." Kate rolled her eyes and pursed her lips.

"You're still not telling me something, Castle I can feel it. You just said _was_ a SEAL, Javi keeps telling me that elite soldiers are never was. Like "once a Marine always a Marine, or "Once a Ranger always a Ranger." Castle sighed and looked at her very intensely, pondering. Finally he said, "Okay Kate, you've put your trust in me, I'll put mine in you but it must go no further than Esposito and Ryan. My mother, Alexis and the mayor are the only people outside the navy that know this. Yes I am a Navy SEAL, just no longer an active one. I am a Commander in the Naval Reserve."

"That's all I can tell you Kate. All the rest of what you know about me is still true. Who I am and what I feel have not changed." A small feeling of alarm passed through Kate and she shivered. "You couldn't be deployed could you, if the middle- east should heat up again?" she asked. Castle wanted to reassure her but he wouldn't lie. "There's always the chance of that but with my assignment it's highly unlikely, less than a ten per cent chance."

Kate was still unhappy about the situation. Tears were gathering in her eyes, they came all too easily lately. "You've kept us in the dark all this time Castle, No one in the precinct knew. Why not, don't you trust us?"

Castle sighed. He really didn't want to hurt this woman more than she already was and the feeling of not being trusted was hurting her. "Kate, Captain Montgomery knows. As for the rest of you, it's a matter of need to know. Some areas of my assignment involve matters of national security. You have to know that I trust you Kate, because I'm way out on a limb here, telling you as much as I have." Suddenly, a realization hit Kate, one that excited and dismayed her at the same time. She looked straight into his deep blue eyes. She didn't even catch the Freudian slip at the start of her question. "When you left me last summer you weren't with Gina all summer were you?"

Castle didn't miss the" left me" but decided to let it ride for the time being. "No Kate, I wasn't with her after that first week. I thought it could be a new start but Gina and I were the same people we always were and nothing physical happened between us. She started nagging me before we ever got to the Hamptons. I sent her home as soon as I got one chapter done."

Kate's anger was bubbling very close to the surface both with Castle and herself. If they'd only been honest with each other she'd have never got together with Josh. She managed to mostly control the anger but one question slipped out, her tone sharp when she asked it.

"Why didn't you call me after Gina left? At least to find out how I was? But no calls all summer long."

"Kate, I thought you were with Demming and I couldn't call, I just couldn't."

Still holding the eye to eye contact, Kate said, "You weren't really writing all summer were you?" Castle's face got a very serious look on it. "Don't go there Kate, I can't answer that question."

A slight smile touched her lips. "You just did, Rick but I'll be a good girl and not ask any more questions along that line."

Castle smiled at her and said, "Thank you Kate. There's something else we need to discuss. You need to find a therapist. You've had nightmares two nights in a row, which is understandable after what you've been through but you need your sleep, a refreshing sleep not a troubled one. I think that I can get my friend Angela to recommend one."

Kate couldn't help it the words came out just a little snippy. "Are you sure that she would want to?" Castle raised an eyebrow at that.

"Why wouldn't she?"

Kate immediately realized her mistake. "Oh I just meant that she's a GP. She probably doesn't have that much contact with mental health issues." _Like I would try to help my competition if I were her. Just because you think of her as a sibling doesn't mean she thinks of you that way._ "I think that the women's shelter might have referrals to therapists more experienced in this field."

Castle nodded. "You're probably right Kate. It doesn't matter how you do it as long as you do."

Kate decided to tease Castle a little. "So you really want me to see a therapist for my nightmares. Are you tired of sleeping with me already? Gee, Castle that's hard on a girl's ego." She laughed as Castle tried to find a graceful response to that one. Kate was trying to use Castle's favorite method of deflecting dangerous feelings with humor. It wasn't so much that she feared dealing with the trauma issues; she was a tough minded woman. What scared her was revealing and dealing with the issues that put her in that situation in the first place.

She let Castle off the hook. "You don't need to try and find an answer for that Castle, I was just teasing you. But it doesn't mean I don't want a cuddle buddy. Castle, I'll call in a few minutes but could you do a big favor for me? Alexis and I would like to have some girl time this afternoon. It would be great if you could get us some lunch from Remy's and go have some fun on your own. I know that it's a lot to ask, this is your home, after all."

Castle had a huge smile on his face. "Kate, I don't mind at all. In fact I love the idea. Alexis needs something like this since her mother can't be bothered to act like a mother." Kate had a smile that almost matched Castle's. "It was Alexis' idea Castle but I need something like this too."

Castle vacated his office so Kate could use it to make her calls. It took her about thirty minutes to complete the calls and make her first appointment. When she came out Castle said, "Kate come here a minute." She sat down on the couch and Castle said, "Kate, there are some aps out that allow someone to track a phone's location by its' GPS even if the phone is turned off. They're illegal unless the user is the parent of a minor or law enforcement but there's not a lot of effort put into enforcement. What I'd like to do is take your phone and give it to Captain Montgomery to put in his safe. Before I do that, I'll get you a prepaid phone and have a friend of mine clone your contacts into it. There's no way to trace a burner without the phone number. That bastard Davidson is not going to have anyway to track you."

Kate agreed to this without arguing as it made a lot of sense. Castle took her phone and left, going first to his friend who owned an electronics store specializing in security operations. He cloned Beckett's contacts and aps into the secure smart phone. There was no way to track it.

Castle paid him then went to the precinct and gave Beckett's original phone to Captain Montgomery, explaining the situation to him. Montgomery agreed to secure Beckett's phone in his safe. Castle then checked on the status of the restraining order and found out that Davidson had not been served yet as he was out of town.

Castle went to Remy's and ordered cheeseburgers, fries and shakes for Alexis and Kate and a double bacon chili-cheeseburger, a large order of onion rings with chipotle dipping sauce for himself. Castle returned to the loft. Alexis and Kate were sitting on the sofa talking so Castle went into the kitchen and plated the food, set the food on the table and got a beer out of the refrigerator for himself. He called the ladies to come to lunch.

Kate took one look at Castle's burger and blanched. "You're not eating that thing are you Castle? My God, it's disgusting; it's a heart attack on a plate. Followed by onion rings? Castle, you have a minor daughter here, suicide is not an option!"

"Now you're exaggerating Kate. This burger perfection has all the food groups. Angus lean beef for protein, artisan bun, cheese for dairy, tomatoes and onions for vegetables what else could you want?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "And 35,000 calories. I don't know what else you'd want except a gallon of Pepto-Bismol!" _Oh how I wish I had the right to tell you to take care of yourself, keep yourself safe for me._ Alexis copied Kate's eye roll and looked at her father in a very disappointed way.

"Well Dad, I agree with Kate but you're going to eat it anyway so at least share. I want some of those onion rings and I'm sure that Kate does too."

Kate smirked and said, "With all these fries, I only want two onion rings**, **these two." Kate reached out and snagged the two largest and juiciest rings on the plate, giving one to Alexis. Alexis grabbed the next two largest and passed one back to Kate. Castle still had half a dozen large onion rings left. Castle couldn't let the chance for a little mock histrionics pass by.

He dropped his face into his hands and said, "Oh cruel fate, my own daughter turning against me, all the women in my life ganging up on me." Martha has walked through the door just moments earlier just in time to overhear the conversation. She exchanged looks with Alexis and Kate then said, "That's right Richard, we are so you had better get used to it. And it's fortunate for you that I don't like onion rings or chili-burgers." Alexis and Kate both burst into laughter at Martha's comment. Alexis said, "Please join us Grams, You can have some of my fries and part of my burger. Dad went overboard and got half pounders. It's too much for me."

Kate said, "That goes the same for me, Martha there's plenty here for all three of us." Martha smiled and said, "Please get me a plate Richard. My rather boring day just became delightful.

.Castle finished his meal long before the ladies did as they were busy chatting, completely ignoring him. Castle grunted something as he left the loft. He decided to ride his new Harley. The women never even noticed as he got his helmet, jacket and gloves out of the closet. Alexis invited Martha to join them for the afternoon. The three of them spent that afternoon enjoying the manicures, pedicures and cheesecake. But they enjoyed the time together most of all.

Castle spent that night sleeping with Kate snuggled against him, which required a very cold shower in the morning. Kate's first therapy appointment was the following day and the next two nights followed the previous pattern. By the third night Castle just hel her till she fell asleep then retreated to the guest room but it was enough that Kate slept through the night without a nightmare.

The therapist saw Kate three times a week and three weeks passed with Kate making some progress every day. It wasn't easy, often very hard sometimes she lashed out at Castle but he took it in stride, never lashing back. In those three weeks, Kate and Alexis formed a very close bond. More than friends, very much like a mother-daughter relationship. Also by the end of the three weeks she knew, without a doubt that she was thoroughly in love with Castle. She couldn't tell him yet, she wasn't ready and she wouldn't tell him until she was able to be intimate with him. It was coming slowly because the mental trauma was far worse than the physical. Her bruises were gone or mostly so and her ankle was healed enough that she could walk on it without a cane but she still had to be careful. It was coming slowly but she knew it would come because her dreams were mostly about Castle and they were becoming slightly erotic.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: Digging a Deeper Hole**

Josh Davidson had been back in New York for a few hours and was boiling mad. He had been trying to contact Kate Beckett without success. Her phone was turned off, but his tracking app showed it at the precinct. He'd called the precinct and was told she was not there and would give him no information. He tried her e-mail and found it blocked.

Furious, he went to her apartment and let himself in. He'd stolen her spare key one night and had a copy made. It was obvious that it hadn't been lived in in a couple of weeks. _Who does this bitch think she is? She's my property and she doesn't get to leave till I'm done with her. I'll have to teach the bitch a lesson. _He trashed the place. He slashed her sofa and easy chair, smashed her computer and stereo. He then slashed her best dresses and two expensive leather jackets to shreds. Basically being too selfish and yes stupid, in spite of his high intelligence he missed the things that really mattered to her. Her books, the knick-knacks that had belonged to her mother and her shoes. He left her Harley alone; there was too much a risk that he'd get caught.

He then went to a biker bar and picked up one of the groupies that hung out there and took her to his apartment. He was fortunate that the biker bar was the scumbag establishment that it was and that the woman was too drunk to identify him because she ended up in the hospital badly beaten, raped and sodomized. She survived and eventually recovered but never completely.

Davidson was feeling pretty good as he walked into the medical building, headed for his office. He'd taken out all his anger and aggression last night on the woman from the biker bar. He even had a few pictures on the hard drive of his laptop. Sometimes when he felt the urge and didn't have time to go out, he'd take the laptop and go into the bathroom.

The self-satisfied smile dropped off his face as he was confronted by a large man in a NYPD uniform. "Dr. Joshua Davidson?"

Josh gulped. "Yes that's me."

The cop handed him a document. "You have been served." Josh was in shock. It was a restraining order or as they're called in New York an order of protection. He had to stay away from Kate. After the shock wore off he was enraged. _How dare she do this? He was Joshua Davidson! Everybody knows what a great surgeon I am. I'm famous and important. She's just a cop. I'll talk to my lawyer and get this lifted then I'll get her!"_

He was even angrier when his lawyer informed him that this order didn't come from the civil court, it came from the criminal court. The only way to get it lifted was by a trial. If he elected not to go to trial the order became permanent.

Castle had been wrong about one thing. His lawyer couldn't get it for her. She had to appear before a judge. Castle called his old friend Judge Markoway and explained that Kate was injured and was a cop. Appearing in court would be both painful and embarrassing for her. The judge agreed to come to Rick's loft and bring a court clerk with him. He did just that and issued the order.

Kate had decided that after all that had happened she didn't want to stay in her old apartment. With the money she now had she could afford a larger, nicer one in a more secure building. So she asked Castle to take her to her apartment and pick up her clothes, shoes and computer. She would have the rest of her things stored until she found an apartment.

While she was getting ready, castle slipped into his office, got out his pistol and a shoulder holster, loaded the pistol and put the rig in place. He had his car service drive them over and as they got out, Kate clutched his arm. "Castle, there's something wrong. The lights are on in my apartment and I know that I turned them off when I left."

Castle's mouth hardened into a thin line and he growled "I turned them off after I left."

They quickly got into the elevator and went up to her floor. Castle said, "Kate, give me your key." He unlocked the door and Kate was shocked as he drew the big pistol. He pushed the door open and yelled, "NYPD." He wasn't lying, Kate was NYPD. He didn't say he was.

"Stay here, Kate."

"Like hell I will Castle. We go in together." Kate followed Castle and stopped in her tracks, shocked at the destruction. Castle cleared the bathroom and her bedroom. Kate broke down crying when she went into her bedroom. Scrawled across the wall was the phrase; "This is all your own fault Bitch."

Castle holstered his pistol and took Kate into his arms and held her against her chest until she stopped crying. She looked up and Castle was staring at the wall, his face a mask of fury. His eyes were a glacial blue and she could hear him muttering a string of curses mostly Davidson's name and what he'd done with his maternal parent.

Castle called the precinct and asked Esposito if he could ask Captain Montgomery to let him and Ryan and CSU come to Kate's apartment which had been vandalized. Normally homicide detectives wouldn't investigate a vandalism but Kate was one of their own. The rules went out the window.

Josh had still been wearing his motorcycle gloves when he trashed the place so there were no fingerprints. While CSU was working, Rick called a packing company and had them bring a few boxes over. He then called a moving company and a storage company. Kate and Rick packed what was left of her clothing, her books, the knick-knacks, and her shoes and loaded them into a van that his car service sent over. The rest of her surviving things would be packed and taken to storage tomorrow. The professionals could handle that.

Kate's leg still wasn't strong enough to handle the strain of riding her Harley but she had a spare helmet. Castle showed her his motorcycle license. Kate climbed on behind him and they rode back to his loft.

When they pulled into the underground parking Rick parked Kate's Harley right next to another Harley. Kate's bike was a lovingly maintained 1994 Soft Tail Classic, with plenty of nice shiny chrome. The bike she was looking at was a black 2014 Low Rider all the parts that were chrome on her bike were polished gun metal on the low rider. The bike looked low and mean. Some custom fairings gave it the look of a café racer.

Kate admired the bike, "Do you know who owns this bike Castle? It's wicked hot!

Castle smiled and said, "I own it." Her eyebrows shot up.

"You own it? Fifteen minutes ago I find out you even know how to ride and now I find out you've got a hotter Harley than mine? Castle, just how many boxes am I going to have to dig through before I find the essential Castle?"

Castle smirked. "I don't know Kate but you'll probably have to sort through a couple of sea bags while you're at it." She laughed and then ran covetous eyes over the low rider. She gave castle an appraising look and said, "Just how long have you been riding motorcycles castle?"

"Since I was sixteen."

The van arrived a few minutes later and Castle, the driver and Eduardo the doorman carried Kate's belongings to the loft. Castle had an old bookcase brought up out of storage and put in the guest room. It was enough for most of her books; the rest went onto Castle's shelves. Even the guest room had a huge closet which was enough for her clothes and shoes. The knick-knacks were scattered around her room and Castle's office.

When everything was settled, Kate was exhausted. She went upstairs and took a nap until dinner. Castle asked Alexis to order dinner from Angelo's, a small Italian restaurant that Castle had been going to for years. It wasn't widely known but Castle thought that their food was superior to some five star restaurants he'd eaten in. Angelo's normally didn't deliver but Castle was a personal friend as well as one of their best customers. They would deliver for Castle.

Castle secured his pistol then changed into shorts and a tank top and went to the gym to vent some of his ever building rage at Davidson. He spent more than an hour on the punching bags. Most people in a rage are hot and often lose control. Castle's was a cold rage that simply enhanced his tactical thinking and thus far more dangerous, even deadly. Castle had no intention of killing Davidson. That would be far too easy on him. Castle intended to punish him in a way that Davidson would remember and regret his actions every day for the rest of his life.

Castle knew that there was no way to prove that Davidson had trashed Kate's apartment but Kate had told him that she knew that it was because the phrase he scrawled on the wall was the one he used every time he hit her. Castle decided that it was time for Davidson to start paying for his crimes. The first step was going to be letting Davidson experience the same pain Kate felt at the destruction of her possessions.

Castle always "Knew a guy." He called a man he knew who owed him a huge favor. He told him what Davidson had done to Kate's apartment and what did he think would be an appropriate reaction. The man assured Castle that he knew just how to handle it. Castle was saving Davidson's physical punishment for himself.

Kate awoke to the delicious aroma wafting up the stairs to her room. She looked at the bedside clock. 6:15 already. She quickly got up, straightened her clothes and started down the stairs, just as Alexis was coming up. Alexis smiled a teasing expression in her eyes and said, "Come on down sleepy head. Dinner's ready." Rick and Martha were both standing by the table, waiting for Kate. Rick pulled a chair out for Kate and seated her, repeating the action for Martha. There was a veritable feast laid out on the counter, with a platter of garlic bread and bottles of wine in the center of the table. There were three kinds of pizza, ravioli, spaghetti Carbonera with bacon, Chicken Alfredo and antipasto salad.

"Just tell me what you want Kate and I'll get it for you." Kate was ravenous, she'd and a small portion of everything else. After the tiramisu and a glass of wine, Kate sat back, pleasantly full."

_God how I am going to hate leaving here, when I get my new place, I want my independence but this feels like family. It is family. _They watched a movie after dinner then Kate announced that she was tired and was going to bed.

The emotional trauma of the day didn't undo all her progress or even most of it but that night Castle awoke to find a crying Kate crawling into his bed and begging him to hold her through the night.

The following day found Kate spending most of it with Martha and Alexis. Castle seemed to be in a very dark mood and was locked in his office for several hours straight. When he finally emerged his mood seemed to have improved but the smile he wore was not one anybody really wanted to see. Someone who had seen him in combat would have recognized it.

Dr. Joshua Davidson was in a foul mood. He'd had a difficult procedure that hadn't gone well and the hospital was already questioning his competence. He wasn't really incompetent but he wasn't paying sufficient attention to the job. His anger was getting in the way. Then the afternoon and evening were spent with his accountant and a tax attorney. He was facing a possible IRS audit. After a late supper and a few drinks, it was approaching midnight when he parked his BMW.

He unlocked the door to his townhouse and flipped the light switch. His jaw dropped, he was looking at utter devastation. His plush carpet was crisscrossed with streaks and globs of psychedelic green and orange paint. The imported Italian leather couch and love seat were in ribbons. Someone had taken a blow torch to his 60 inch flat screen television and Bose sound system. The expensive all in one computer wouldn't be processing any more data.

The room reeked of spilled alcohol. Not a single bottle in his bar had survived. His bedroom was chaos. Every one of his Armani suits was destroyed as were his mattress and box spring. He found five pair of Gucci loafers in the bathtub soaking in a mix of paint and motor oil.

He staggered back into the living room to stare at the phrase spray painted on the wall. Payback is a bitch! He dug himself further in a hole when the next morning when the investigating officer asked him if he knew anyone who might have wanted to do this.

"Yeah, he replied. My crazy ex girl- friend, that bitch-cop Kate Beckett!" He was too worked up to notice either the look in the cop's eyes or his tone of voice when he said, "Sir are you accusing a respected police officer of this vandalism?"

"You're damn right I am."

"We'll be in touch."

It didn't take long for the detectives to contact Kate and verify her whereabouts. Since no fingerprints were found other than those of Davidson and an unknown female the detectives reported that the vandalism was caused by a person or persons unknown and closed the file. Castle received a phone call the next morning stating that the educational course that he had requested had begun. The informal education of Josh Davidson was just starting.

Things were getting better by the hour for Davidson. He had to take a cab down town to buy a suit because his motorcycle was out of gas and his BMW had a flat tire. Consequently he was two hours late arriving at the hospital and missed an important staff meeting which didn't sit well with the chief of cardiovascular medicine who didn't like him anyway. Davidson was getting a funny feeling in his gut that the coming weeks weren't going to be good ones for him; he just didn't realize how bad they were going to get. Castle was set on the total destruction of Josh Davidson, while still leaving him alive, out of prison but without any vestiges of the lifestyle he'd enjoyed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six: An Independent Woman**

It had been eight weeks, with Kate making slow but steady progress. She still had occasional nightmares and flashbacks but she was often having pleasant dreams too, sometimes erotic ones. Her therapist was pleased with her progress. It was faster than either she or Castle had expected but then people have differing mental strength. Why is it that some men handle battle induced stress better than others? Two men can be side by side in the same battle and one has severe PTSD and the other has a mild case.

She had stayed in Castle's loft longer than she anticipated but she knew that she had to assert herself and move to her own apartment if she was ever going to get back to the woman she wanted, needed to be. With the influx of money from the Nikki Heat books she had found a nicer apartment than her old one, in a high security building only two blocks from Castle's place.

She'd paid for the very high grade security system that Castle had installed Castle's real estate agent had sold her old apartment for her. Furnishing her new apartment had been an adventure shared by Kate, Castle, Alexis, Martha and Lanie. Most of the furnishings were more high- end than she was used to but still reflected Kate's unique taste. Castle's housewarming gift to her was an expensive coffee machine which he taught her to use properly and an exquisite bone china coffee set.

They had just finished moving all her things from the loft. Most of the things she'd put in storage, she decided she didn't want anyway and donated them to the women's shelter. Now that she was moved in and everyone left she was excited and sad at the same time. She'd really hated leaving the loft and losing that feeling of having a family, _Her Family _around her_._

They were planning a housewarming party Friday evening as her team had the whole weekend off to recuperate if they partied a little too heartily. Kate sighed and decided to order from the _Shanghai Dragon, _She hadn't gone grocery shopping yet and only had the basic condiments on hand. When the food arrived Kate was shocked. She hadn't ordered for one, she'd ordered for three. She'd sub-consciously ordered for Rick and Alexis as well as herself. She sighed getting used to being by herself again was going to take some getting used to and she wasn't at all sure that she was going to like it.

She dished up a single portion and put the rest in the refrigerator. She remembered Castle's comments about a Styrofoam temple so she grimaced at the thought that tomorrow's lunch and dinner weren't going to provide any variety. After she ate Kate went into her living room and turned on the television more for the illusion of company than anything else. She needed her independence and she need to regain her self- image as strong and capable and she was on her way to regaining those things.

The time that she spent with Castle and his family had taught her that she had other needs that in no way denied the first two. She needed a family a nuclear family. She needed to be a wife and a mother and a daughter-in-law. Despite what some influential but seriously deluded women taught, those roles in no way diminished her. They made her glorious. That she wanted to fulfill those roles with the incredible strength they required and still serve her city as one of the best homicide detectives the NYPD ever had, proclaimed to the world that she could do it all with grace and courage and so could any woman who was willing to try.

She sat on the couch, her legs curled under her, feeling a little melancholy. Even with the TV on, it was quiet in her apartment.,too quiet. It was never quiet in Castle's loft before bedtime. She missed the noise. She was trying to go back to her life style before the abuse. Before her time I Castle's loft. She'd always had her books and music and talks with Lanie on the evenings when she wasn't with Josh. It used to be enough. She wasn't sure if it was anymore.

She called Castle just before bedtime just to chat. His calm deep voice with just a hint of amusement in it calmed her nerves and his soft "Sleep well Kate" cheered her. As she was preparing for bed, something struck her; she wasn't sure why it hadn't before. Except for the color of the leather on the headboard her bed was almost a duplicate of Castle's. She set the timer on her stereo and crawled between the soft sheets, stretching out she put her hands behind her head, a soft smile gracing her lips as she drifted off to sleep.

Josh Davidson was sitting in his office, mad as hell but scared as well. Someone had to be running a covert attack on his practice. He'd had a fifth patient drop him in the last two weeks, all of them wealthy, attractive women. His work at the hospital was steady but his private practice was going down the tubes.

To make matters worse, the hearing was coming up on the protection order and he'd just had a call suggesting that he not oppose the order in any way. If he chose to ignore the well-meant suggestion, he might be sorry that he'd skimped on his security system, again. Not ten minutes after that call, his tax attorney called and told him that despite his best efforts the IRS investigation wasn't going away.

He left his office and headed back to his apartment to get cleaned up. One thing that was going well for him was his campaign to get a pretty young intern in to his bed. Dr. Cynthia Wells was a petite blonde that almost had his mouth watering. He was taking her to dinner tonight at a four star restaurant and had high hopes for after. She had warned him that she didn't approve of guys who were late picking her up. He was whistling as he got into his BMW and headed out. Half way to her apartment his car sputtered and died. He was perplexed. The gas gauge read three-quarters full. He called Cynthia and explained that his car had run out of gas and… She cut him off. "Doctor, don't bother. I don't date careless men. If you are careless with your car, you'd be careless with me."

Charley Shane was laughing as he watched the tow truck pull up an hour later with a five gallon can of gas. He was a reformed car thief and tinkerer. He owed Castle a big favor. Josh was even more perplexed the next day when he took the car to a dealer who told him that there was nothing at all with the gas gauge.

Ten weeks. Kate couldn't believe that it had been ten weeks since that traumatic night. As horrible as that night had been, it had its' positive results. She now knew that Castle loved her. No, he still hadn't said it but actions speak louder than words. And she was nearly at the point that she felt that she had overcome enough of her psychological trauma that she soon could begin a relationship with him. Two weeks to a month, she thought.

She was back in the field again with her "Boys" doing what she did best. Castle brought her coffee and a pastry every morning. He was more protective of her than ever, even to the point of escorting her to her apartment every evening. Since she now lived close to him, it was not a burden for him. In the past the whole protective thing would have annoyed her. Now it made her feel warm and safe.

They had three bodies drop that week which made for an intense work load. They managed to solve all three but it was hard and at the end of the week they were ready to let their hair down. Kate gave Castle a tired smile and said, "Hey Castle, the boys want to go to the old haunt and raise a few. Want to come along?"

Castle shook his head. "Remember when Angela asked me to come to her mom's house for dinner? Well I've been putting her off and now that you're secure in your apartment I thought that I'd better get it out of my way. She is an old friend, you know."

Kate sagged a little but did her best to hide it. "Sure Castle, I remember. You go ahead and have fun. We'll hit the Haunt another time." _Sure Castle you go and have fun, without me. She's an old friend. How good a friend?_ She thought bitterly. _What, am I jealous? Damn right I'm jealous. I may not be ready yet but when I am, you're mine and I won't share you. You may think of Angela as a sister but what does she think of you? Maybe vice is nice but incest is best?_

Maybe because he was tired, Castle didn't catch the nuances of Kate's reaction. He shrugged into his coat. "I'll see you all on Monday unless we get a body drop." He walked out of the precinct.

Kate, Ryan and Esposito went on down to the _Old Haunt. _Esposito got rather upset that after only two beers Ryan was ready to leave and see Jenny. Kate only nursed one beer, not enjoying herself at all. Grousing, Esposito gave in and agreed to leave, seeing Kate home safely.

Castle went home and took a quick shower, shaved and dressed in a pair of dark slacks, a bright red shirt and a black leather jacket. Alexis was spending the weekend with some friends and Martha was away at a spa so Castle didn't have to account to anybody. He decided to take the Ferrari.

Castle pulled up and parked in front of an older but beautifully maintained house. Angela Cabello and her daughter Laurie lived with Angela's mother. It wasn't that she couldn't afford to live on her own, she was a successful doctor but Maria Cabello couldn't afford to live on the meager pension her late husband left behind. Maria had never gotten over the death of the man she had loved since she was fifteen years old. Anthony Cabello had been an engineer for Amtrak and had been killed in a derailment.

Angela answered the door wearing a black skirt that just reached to mid- thigh and a scoop neck dark green blouse. Her long dark hair was worn cascading over her left shoulder, reaching almost to her waist. Her eyes were sparkling with pleasure and excitement. She smiled and threw her arms around his neck, kissed him than said, "Ricky, you finally made it. It's so good to see you. We've all missed you."

Castle smiled back and replied, "I've missed you too."

She was only half joking when she said, "Liar, if you missed us why haven't you been around to see us?"

Castle grimaced. "You know how it goes Angela, you get busy with life, your schedule gets crowded and things just slip your mind. The last couple of years, besides my writing I've been working with some detectives from the NYPD. It takes up a lot of time"

_Yes Ricky and I've got a pretty good guess as who's taking up your time. It could be me, you know._ All she said out loud was; "Yes Ricky I know how it is. Come on in. Mama's dying to see you."

Kate's instincts were one hundred per cent on the mark. Angela had loved Castle for years, even if he only viewed her like a sibling. Angela had a very sweet nature and that love had never turned to bitterness. She wished he was hers and she'd jump his bones if she ever got the opportunity, although she wanted much more than that. She led him into the house where he was met by Maria and Laurie Cabello. Maria was a tiny woman just barely five feet tall and weighing one hundred pounds. Even in her sixties it was still obvious where Angela and Laurie got their beauty. Laurie was fourteen just on the verge of becoming the striking beauty she would be. She had her mother's raven hair and olive skin but her father's piercing green eyes. A little taller than her mother she was slender but with curves that would draw any man's eye. She grinned and launched herself at Rick. "Uncle Rick. She screamed. I missed you, where have you been?" Rick hugged the girl. "Oh, here and there, string bean, here and there."

The girl frowned. "Well obviously, there Uncle Rick but not here!" Her grandmother flicked her ear. "Laurel Anita Cabello, watch your manners. Grown men do not have to justify themselves to children." She turned glistening eyes to Rick. "It has been much too long _Bambino, _much too long! We thought that you had forgotten us."

Rick put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You know I'd never forget you, Mama Maria, I have called."

Maria shook her head. "Yes you have called, _Bambino_ but you haven't come. Well, never mind, you are here now. It is good, it is enough, come let us eat."

There was a veritable feast set out on the sideboard. Maria had outdone herself. There was Veal Marsala, lasagnas, antipasto, spaghetti and ravioli. Warm crusty bread and good wine. Castle looked at the table and said, "Expecting an army Mama Maria?"

Maria laughed a full throaty laugh. "No _Bambino,_ only one sailor who has been away too long."

After a meal that left Castle groaning, they adjourned to the living room to reminisce and fill each other in on their lives. Castle stood and walked over to the mantle and looked at the collection of framed photographs there. There was Anthony and Maria's wedding photo, one of them holding Angela, another holding Laurie, photos of Angela and Laurie in their first communion dresses, one of Angela and Rick in their caps and gowns and surprising him, one of Castle in uniform as a young Ensign.

Maria saw him looking at it, came over, put a hand on his arm and said, "God gave me two children, one of my body and one of my heart. And I love both of them."

Castle said, "Excuse me I have to go to my car, I'll be right back." He returned from the car with three packages and handed one to each of the ladies. "I've missed a few Christmases so I hope that theses make up for them." They opened their gifts and each gasped in surprise Maria got a Ruby and diamond pendent with matching earrings, Angela's were emerald and diamond and Laurie's were sapphire and diamond.

All three were in tears. No one had ever done something like this for them. "I should be going, Rick said. I promise that I won't stay away so long again." Maria and Laurie kissed his cheek and thanked him. He hugged them both. Angela walked Castle to his car. She went on her toes to kiss him, trying to tell him, without words what she wanted and felt.

"Please come back soon, Rick."

Castle hung up his jacket and relaxed with a glass of Scotch when his phone rang. It was Beckett.

"Hi Kate, what's going on Kate, did you have a good time at the Haunt?" Castle asked. There seemed to be a slight edge in her voice as Kate replied, "It wasn't much fun, I had one beer and came home, how about you?" Castle paused a moment then said, "I had a very good time. Great dinner and a good visit with old friends. It wasn't just Angela, her mother and daughter were both there."

Castle didn't hear the sigh of relief that Kate let out. "Well okay Castle, I just wanted to be sure that you were home safe. Good night."

"Good night and sleep well, Kate."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: In Harm's Way**

_I wish to have no connection with any ship that does not sail fast for I intend to go in harm's way. Captain John Paul Jones_

Four and a half Months, had it really been that short a time? It was more time than Kate had hoped for but she was finally ready to reveal her feelings to Castle. If only she hadn't been called to Florida to help on a murder case that was very similar to a series of murders in New York. The FBI was involved in the case making it even more complex than it already was. She'd been down here for two weeks and was so worked up over the case or so tired she often skipped calling Castle. She'd only talked to him three or four times. The case dragged on for another three days before a single witness blew the case wide open and the perpetrator was arrested.

Feeling great relief that the case was finally over and she would be going home the next day, she called Castle to tell him she was coming home. Her call went directly to voice mail. Perplexed, she sent him a text. There was no reply.

_**Two weeks earlier.**_

Rick Castle looked at the letter in his hands. _Well that tears it, time is running out. I'm going to have to deal with Davidson this week._

Josh Davidson's world was crashing down around his ears. The private investigator Castle had hired was very good and very thorough. He'd uncovered a plethora of crimes to be laid at Josh's door. The abuse was just part of it. Everything the man had found out, except the abuse of Kate Beckett had been turned over to the authorities. Some of the things he'd discovered and reported would probably change Castle's plan about Josh staying out of prison. The PI had talked to three of the women who dropped Dr. Davidson and convinced them to report him to the Hospital's board.

What he'd done was technically not illegal, just unethical. He'd told the women that he would lower his fees to absolute minimum if they had sex with him. It was enough to get the hospital to fire him. There were also evidence of his over-prescribing several powerful sedatives and drug smuggling. Davidson had used the last of his ready money to pay his lawyer. He left the rather seedy looking bar and was crossing the alley to where he'd parked his bike when a tall, broad figure, dressed all in black, including a balaclava, confronted him. The figure spoke. "I'm giving you a chance to defend yourself Davidson, which is more than those women you abused, had." Josh stood stalk still for a few seconds, a feeling of pure terror flashing through him.

The figure uttered a grim laugh. "Pissing your pants isn't going to gain any sympathy from me."

Predictably, Josh drew a knife and started weaving back and forth said, "Stay away from me I don't want to hurt you if I don't have to."

Another grim laugh. "Oh but I want to hurt you, as you've hurt innocent women."

Davidson snarled. "Innocent my ass. Those sluts deserved it," A long leg lashed out and a steel toe boot slammed into Josh's wrist sending the knife flying. A wicked overhand punch broke Josh's nose and a pivot kick to his abdomen doubled him over. His descending face met a rising knee and he went down.

"Get up and try to defend yourself, scumbag, or I'll just kick the crap out of you where you lie."

Davidson stumbled to his feet and took two looping swings at his tormenter. Neither one connected so he tried rushing him. That didn't work either. In the next few minutes Davidson lived all the pain and terror he'd inflicted on others. Ending up with a broken nose, six broken ribs, broken jaw, most of his expensive dental spread across the alley. His right hand pulverized, every joint in the hand smashed. As he laid panting and weeping on the ground, Davidson could feel the contempt rolling off the black clad figure. The figure spoke.

"Only a couple of lessons left for tonight. I hope that you will take them to heart. Regrettably, your Harley met with an accident I'm not sure that it's salvageable. Furthermore I think you're going to have trouble sexually assaulting women for a while. With that a boot toe impacted squarely between his legs. The pain was so intense he couldn't even scream. As the tall figure walked off Davidson heard: "Remember Davidson, I am your nemesis. Don't have a nice day."

The next morning, several newspapers published similar stories. _**Prominent Doctor found badly beaten in a back alley. **__Dr. Josh Davidson was found early this morning in an alley behind the Boom-Boom Room. There is speculation that it was a drug deal gone bad…._

_**Local doctor arrested. **__ Dr. Josh Davidson was arrested early this morning on a number of charges, some of them Federal. He is expected to be arraigned as soon as he is released from the hospital._

_**Present day.**_

Kate Beckett was exhausted as she entered her apartment. She wasn't even hungry. She just took a quick shower and collapsed into bed, sleeping for ten hours straight. The next morning she made breakfast for herself, ate, showered and took special care with her hair and make-up. She dressed especially sexily and called Castle. Again, it went to voice mail. Really concerned now, Kate drove over to his building. Parking the car, she took the elevator to Castle's floor. Knocking anxiously on the door, she waited. The person who answered was not the one she wanted. It was Martha. "What are you doing here Katherine?" Her tone was cool, bordering on hostile."

Kate failed to understand Martha's attitude. "I came to see Castle, is he here?

Martha raised an eyebrow. "You didn't know?"

Kate was perplexed. "Didn't know what Martha?"

Martha's tone softened. "Come in Darling, Please sit down." Martha went into Castle's office and came back out with a letter. She handed it to Kate. Kate blanched at the seal on the envelope. Department of the Navy. With trembling hands she took the letter out of the envelope. The letter read; To: Commander Richard Castle, USNR. You are hereby ordered to active duty for a period of not less than ninety (90) days total period unspecified at this time. You are authorized one week delay in route. Report to the Naval Special Warfare Center, Naval Amphibious Base, Coronado California, not later….

The letter dropped from her nerveless fingers. "Oh God, no, not now." She wailed. Alexis, hearing the piercing cry came running down the stairs. Martha already had a crying, trembling Kate in her embrace. Alexis sat on the other side and wrapped her arms around Kate.

Tears were pouring down her cheeks as Kate sobbed brokenly. "I shouldn't have gone on that case, it wasn't mandatory. I should have stayed, I should have told him."

"Told him what?" Martha asked.

"Told him that I'm over the trauma, told him that I love him, that I want to be with him. Told him what a fool I was. I never loved Josh, not really. I liked him a lot but he wasn't Castle. Castle had my heart before the Hamptons debacle. Josh was a rebound affair. I was mad at Castle and hurt but what I did was incredibly stupid."

Kate stopped crying, "May I have a glass of water please?" Martha got up and got Kate a glass of ice water. She also brought a glass of wine. "Water first Katherine, then the wine. Kate didn't like to drink before the afternoon but the shock to her system had been profound and she needed something to calm her nerves.

Kate sipped at her wine although she wanted to chug it. Her eyes were red and puffy from her crying her mascara smeared, she felt a mess. Alexis put a gentle hand on Kate's arm. "Come with me, Kate let's get you cleaned up and repair your make-up." When they were in the bathroom Alexis said, "Kate while you were here, you almost felt like my mom. I don't want to lose that feeling." Kate smiled for the first time since she had arrived at the loft. She hugged Alexis. "I don't want to lose that feeling either Alexis, I felt what a mother feels. At least what I think a mother feels. You heard what I said. Your dad is it for me. When he comes back, if he'll have me I want to be his wife and your mom. And we'll work to get him out of the Navy. It has had a part of him for far too long! They went back down stairs and Kate accepted a second glass of wine. "Martha, do you know why my calls didn't go through, is Rick mad at me? Kate asked.

Martha shook her head in negation. "No darling I don't think so, he told me that he'd be out of touch for about a month. I'm not sure why. But he also said not to worry, it was just routine protocol."

Kate stood to leave. "Thank you Martha, I should go now. "

Martha grasped Kate's hand. "Nonsense Katherine, Alexis and I were planning on going out to lunch. We would like you to accompany us. I won't take no for an answer."

The three women went to a small steak house that while little known, served some of the best food in the country. After a quiet lunch they returned to the loft. Alexis looked at Kate, her eyes reminding Kate so much of Castle's. "Kate will you please stay and have supper with us too? It is less lonely with you here." Kate couldn't resist Alexis' plea and didn't really want to."

"I'll be happy to stay, Alexis." Kate said. They spent the rest of the afternoon talking and playing cards doing their best to distract themselves. Alexis had inherited her father's cooking talent. She made a simple meal of Spaghetti Bolognese garlic bread and salad.

They had just finished their meal when there was a knock on the door. Alexis answered it to find two women and a girl standing there, Alexis' eyes widened in surprise.

"Mrs. Cabello, Dr. Cabello, Laurie please come in. Grams look who's here!" Martha got up from the couch and walked over to the group. She immediately hugged all three and then said,

"Maria, what a pleasant surprise it's wonderful to see you and your girls. Let me take your coats."

Martha took the coats and hung them up. The Cabello's sat down while Martha said,

"Would you care for some coffee, tea or wine?"

"A glass of wine would be nice, thank you." Maria said. Angela and Laurie both opted for coffee. Martha bustled into the kitchen, turning her head she said, "Katherine would you help me please?" Angels didn't fail to notice the easy way that Kate moved around the kitchen which spoke of familiarity. Kate and Martha served the rest and sat down, holding their own drinks.

Suddenly Martha's eyes opened wide and she said, "Oh forgive me, where are my manners. Maria, Angela, and Laurie I would like to introduce to our dear friend Katherine Beckett. Katherine these are old friends Maria, Angela and Laurie Cabello."

"I've already met Dr. Cabello, Kate said. Mrs. Cabello, Laurie, I am pleased to meet you. She shook hands with each of them. Maria opened her rather large purse and took out a folded newspaper. "Have you seen this, is it true? Martha looked at the article. Good old page six but this one lacked the usual snarky innuendo: _**Richard Castle, Writer or Warrior?**__ Confidential sources tell us that Richard Castle, celebrity writer, rumored playboy and one of New York's top ten bachelors has been, as my father would have put it, called to the colors. Little did we know that our jovial man about town is a Commander, in the Navy reserve and has been called to active duty. We have been unable to discover anything about his assignment which is in itself suspicious. We have to ask you, Commander Castle what are you?_

Martha handed the paper to Kate, who was immediately furious, her lips drawn in a thin straight line. "Oh those miserable bastards, how do they get their hands on this kind of information? That could put him in danger!" Her reaction, the look of fear in Kate's eyes told Angela that any chance of making Castle her own had gone out the window. She wasn't angry with Kate, she couldn't be. It was not her nature to blame someone for something they had no control over. She knew how easy it was for a woman to fall for Castle. _No good deed goes unpunished._

Kate handed the paper to Maria. Tears were in both Kate's and Martha's eyes as Martha said, "It's true Maria, he's back on active duty." Maria's face fell into her hands as she began to cry. "They took my _bambino _again. Why, Dear God why? Wasn't it enough that they almost killed him last time, three months in the hospital. Why can't someone else do it?"

Martha hugged Maria. "You know what kind of man Richard is. He would never let someone else do it. It was that damn SEAL training." Martha turned to Kate. "Our families were close growing up. I was working so much and Maria often took care of Richard." Maria looked up. "I wanted a son so badly but my Anthony couldn't give me one or another girl. Richard was like a son to me, my _bambino. _I know that you are not a Catholic Martha but will you come to the church with us, all three of you to pray that Saint Michael will watch over Richard and that Our Dear God will bring him home safely?"

That evening, Father McMahon stood with Father Panza and watched, adding their prayers to the six women who knelt praying for a beloved sailor's safety.

_I hear the sound of distant drums, far away, far away and if the call me I must come, I must go and you must stay… Distant Drums by Jim Reeves_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight The Girl I Left Behind Me**

_Author's note: My thanks to a suggestion from ucsbdad and for reminding me that Beckett is an Irish name._

_**The dames of France are fond and free and Flemish lips are willing and soft the maids of Italy and Spanish eyes are thrilling Still though I bask beneath their smile their charms fair to bind me and my heart fall back to Erin's isle to the girl I left behind me. The girl I left behind me. A popular tune first sung by Irish troops serving England, Later, the same tune with changed lyrics used by U.S. forces in the 19**__**th**__** century.**_

_**I wish I were on yonder hill, tis there I would cry my fill; every tear would turn a mill. I'll sell my rod, I'll sell my reel, I'll sell my only spinning wheel to buy my love a sword of steel….Siuil A Run. Irish song of a young woman missing her man. (Johnny's gone for a soldier)**_

Kate Beckett was having a miserable month. Again she'd jumped at a chance to enhance her professional reputation and in doing so may have lost the love of her life. What the hell had she been thinking? As a homicide detective she'd seen lives cut short without warning. Young people who thought that they had all the time they needed to complete their plans. Would she ever see Castle again, get a chance to tell him she loves him? Would her silence cause him to wash his hands of her? Would he come home changed? Or would he come home at all, or only in a coffin?

She was sitting on her couch, just about to call Lanie when her phone rang. She almost dropped it when she saw castle's face on the screen she was so excited she literally yelled "Castle." "Hey, volume Kate." Castle chuckled. She was laughing and crying at the same time.

"Oh God, Castle it's so good to hear from you. I was so scared that I wasn't going to. I miss you so much. I should never have gone on that case or not kept in touch."

Castle sighed, "It's okay Kate you had no Idea that the Navy was going to do this. Neither did I."

She huffed. "I still should have kept in touch better. I'm sorry. You said that there was only 10% chance that you'd be recalled."

It was Castle's turn to huff. "That's what I was told but then that's not the first lie the Navy told me. I should have known better. I know that you are probably hurt that I haven't called you or returned your calls. I couldn't. It's part of the training. Not you, Mother, Alexis or anyone. Well, that part of the training is over. This is a refresher course. We will graduate in one month. I would like you to come out for the graduation ceremony. Can you get the time off?

Her smile could have lit up the room. "I would love to come, I _am _coming." She was glad that Castle couldn't see her blush as she thought of the alternate meaning of that phrase and wished that he was here with her to make it real. Kate was a strong woman and with her psychiatrist's help had fought through the mental trauma until her emotions were stable again. There would always be scars but she knew how to deal with them. She'd always had a strong sex drive and the need to express it. It was back in full force, now more focused than before.

There would be no more detours, no more substitutions. She knew who her life mate was to be and she was going after him. She'd been having erotic dreams with only one man in them and she was making a mental list of the fantasies she wanted fulfilled and even the whole United States Navy wasn't going to stand in her way.

"Kate, why so quiet?" Castle asked. She blushed again as the low rumble of his voice intensified the desire coursing through her.

"I'm just thinking, Castle."

"About?"

"I'm not going to tell you that over the phone. Just know that I'm thinking about you every minute of the day and I'm counting every day until I see you." Castle smiled to himself. Without putting it into the actual phrase, Kate had just told him that she loved him and he would finally be able to tell her that he loved her.

Declaring love for someone. A simple action and a common one. An action that while it brings one person to the heights of happiness plunges another into despair. In this case, two people. It might seem strange that Castle never caught on to the depths of Angela's feelings for him. After all, they'd known each other most of their lives. Angela was a beautiful, desirable woman. It was more than odd that she'd never had a long term relationship. Castle never knew, never even met Laurie's father. If he had he would have been shocked. Except for his deep green eyes, Eddie Malone could have passed for Castle's twin, Fraternal but a twin. Of course, he wasn't.

Castle loved Angela and Laurie but it was brotherly and avuncular. Angela's heart was soon to be completely broken and her hopes dashed and so were Laurie's. She missed a father figure in her life. She loved Castle too and hoped fervently that he'd someday be her father.

Alexis, on the other hand, loved Kate and they had grown so close that she knew, absolutely that Kate was the mother she'd always wanted to have and Meredith had never been. That they were too close in age for Kate to truly have been her mother, it didn't matter to either of them. The feelings were there.

As has been stated before, the heart wants what the heart wants. It wasn't Castle's fault that his heart wanted Kate nor that he didn't love Angela as she loved him. It was just the way it was.

Martha inadvertently caused the emotional tragedy by not checking with Castle first. She invited the Cabello's to the graduation ceremony.

That last month flew by for Kate. She had expected it to drag. Unfortunately the denizens of New York decided that particular month would be a great time to indulge in mayhem and murder. She was kept so busy that she barely had time for meals but remembering how Castle was always on her to eat properly she made the effort to eat a substantial breakfast and solid lunch. Supper was often just a cup of noodles or a bagel with cream cheese. She was usually exhausted at the end of the day but after the call up communications silence she made sure to call Castle every evening and sometimes mornings as well.

Kate had requested a month off. She had so much vacation time banked that the captain could not refuse it and wasn't inclined to anyway. The graduation was on Friday in San Diego. Kate didn't want to arrive worn out so she started her vacation on Wednesday so that she could fly out with Martha and Alexis. Angela had patients to see on Wednesday. She, Maria and Laurie flew out Thursday afternoon.

Kate went shopping Thursday. She'd seen some jewelry on line from a specialty shop in San Diego. She'd ordered on line and would pick it up in person. She was going all out for Castle.

The shop had her order ready. It was perfect. An 18 carat Gold chain held a pendent in the shape of the Navy's fouled anchor with matching anchor earrings. She bought a Mizpah coin, a gold medallion split in two with the words: _The Lord watch between me and thee while we are absent one from the other. _Her final purchase in the jewelry store was in a small velvet covered box. She finished her shopping by purchasing a navy blue dress with a thin gold belt and matching blue heels.

A brisk breeze blew off San Diego Bay, not enough to chill but enough to refresh. Kate thrilled at the sight of the Stars and Stripes standing out against the azure sky. The bleachers were filled with the family and friends of the graduating class. Alexis was seated between Kate and Martha holding on to Kate's hand and her grandmother's, the excitement evident in the trembling of her hands.

Kate was daydreaming about what she was going to say to Castle when she was startled out of her reverie by someone saying "Hello Martha." She looked over and was not pleased to see all three Cabellos. Maria continued. "Hello Alexis, Miss Beckett." Angela and Laurie exchanged greetings with Alexis Kate and Martha. Kate returned the politely if with little warmth.

That was all the time they had before a Navy band marched on to the field followed by a group of sailors in their dress uniforms. The usual speeches were given and the certificates presented. Then the Admiral said, "Ladies and gentlemen we have an additional ceremony to the graduation. It is a unit establishment and installation of command. Due to the continuing crisis in the middle- east and the taxing of our military resources, especially our special operations forces, National Command Authority has decided to establish a new SEAL time in addition to the existing eight.

SEAL team nine will be made up primarily of reservists on active duty. I take great pleasure in introducing to you the commanding officer, Commander Richard Castle, United States Navy Reserve. Rick didn't make a speech he simply read his orders out loud. The Admiral said, "You have command."

Castle replied, "I assume command Sir." He then commanded, "Team Attention, pass in review. The band began to play and the team marched past the reviewing stand saluting their commander and the dignitaries as they passed. They were halted and dismissed. The audience came down onto the field and mixed with their family members. Kate was the first one to reach Castle.

_To hell with propriety._ She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately.

"I love you Rick." She whispered."

"I love you Kate." He replied and that was all there was time for before the others reached them.

Alexis rushed into her father's arms. He Kissed her on the forehead. She pulled back.

"I missed you Dad, but why?"

"Why what Pumpkin?"

"Why all this, why are you going back into the Navy? I'm not blind I can see what's going on in the world. We could be going to war and haven't you done enough, why does it have to be you?"

Castle sighed and looked Alexis in the eyes. "Alexis, I never left the Navy I've been a reservist, you know that. Why am I going back on active duty? Those are my orders but more than that I'm needed. I've been in combat. Some of these men haven't. If you look at reality, we've been at war since the Gulf War. It's just never been a full on declared war because we've been fighting terrorists. I know that you're worried but there are eight operational teams under the main team. I command the entire team. I don't go on field ops."

Alexis stood aside, holding onto Kate while Martha hugged and kissed her son. She didn't say anything except that she loved him and was proud of him. Castle had been so focused on Kate and Alexis he hadn't at first seen Maria, Angela and Laurie so he hadn't seen the anguish on Angela's face when he kissed Kate.

Angela had been sure after seeing Kate at the loft that any chance with Castle was gone but she had hoped against hope that she was wrong. Now all doubt was gone. It hurt; it hurt almost more than she could bear. But Angela was an exceptional woman. Her love for Castle was such that if she wasn't the one, than she hoped that Kate truly was. Castle's happiness was more important to her than her own.

She would bury her pain and smile for Castle, tell him that she was proud of his accomplishments and ask that he come home safe. She did just that, kissing him softly on the cheek. Laurie was not so forgiving. She was hurt and angry. She knew how much her mother loved Castle. She wanted to lash out and was going to until both Angela and Maria gave her warning looks and Angela grabbed her arm.

"You've always called him Uncle Rick, never Papa. Remember how good he has been to us. Never forget that. You would be dead if not for him. I will not let him go to war thinking badly of you. Now go kiss him and tell him you love him just as you always have."

Laurie followed her mother's instructions although she still wasn't happy.

Maria came up to Castle and held out her arms. Castle hugged her, the tiny woman dwarfed against his massive frame. The woman was crying.

"Oh my _Bambino_ again you go to war, breaking this old woman's heart. Come home safely, God, Saint Michael and our prayers go with you."

Castle released Maria and stepped back. "Mama Maria, I will be as careful as I can be. You are all assuming that it's going to go to an all- out war. It hasn't reached that point yet. It's still possible that a sufficient show of force will cause the potential combatants to back down."

Another officer walked up to their group. "We're not in the middle- east Commander it's not legal to have a harem of beautiful women here." Castle laughed.

"You're just Jealous Chad because you haven't got one. Chad Dennison I'd like you to meet my mother, Martha Rogers, my daughter Alexis, My good friend Katherine Beckett, and my friends Maria, Angela and Laurie Cabello. Ladies; my executive officer, Chadwick Oliver Dennison. Generally known as Cod."

Dennison is physically Castle's opposite. Where Castle is tall and broad he is of medium height and slender, a rapier to Castle's broadsword. Castle is fair skinned with blue eyes he has an olive complexion and brown eyes. "If you count out your mother and daughter that still leaves you with three more than you're supposed to have.

Rick wore a really evil grin. "Well if you were as debonair and charming as I am you could have a harem too." Then the two laughed and shook hands, slapping each other on the back.

"I'm really glad you got the slot Skipper, it was between you and that Stevens. I don't know how he ever made it into the SEALS. That Charlie Sierra lives by the rule book, no imagination at all.

Castle grimaced. "Talking about him could ruin lunch. Let's get the ladies over to the O club for that luncheon and reception."

Dennison grinned. "Sure thing Skipper and don't forget that the Master Chief has that beer bust after all the formal stuff."

"I thought that was just for the EM and PO's.

"No, the Chief wants the officer's there too. And their ladies of course. It's down on Silver Strand and there's a full moon tonight."

Kate spoke up. "Commander Dennison, isn't the full moon supposed to bring out all the crazies? At least according to legend."

"Oh it does, it definitely does. It brings the SEALS out." Kate laughed delightedly at the response.

Kate decided to try a bold ploy. "A full moon is also called a lover's moon and I, for one intend to take advantage of it. She smiled and took Castle's hand. You see, I'm not just Rick's good friend, I'm his _girlfriend." _She held her breath waiting for Castle's reaction.

She released the breath she was holding and leaned into him as castle said:

"That's true Cod, so don't get any ideas about Kate, she's spoken for."

Cod laughed. "Hell Skipper anybody with eyes could see that at first glance. Still, you're too selfish for my own good." Castle and Kate both laughed out loud at that one. Then Cod looked around. "Would any of you ladies be kind enough to accompany me to the luncheon? I really would hate to look like an eighth wheel to the Sheik."

Everyone laughed at that. Angela decided to take a bold step of her own and maybe start to heal a little. "That really would be a terrible fate for a bold and dashing SEAL wouldn't it? I really don't want Mom or Martha to look like cougars or you to look like a cradle robber so I volunteer."

Cod was an astute reader of people. He had to be as an effective leader, which he was. Castle was too, he was just too close to the situation to see Angela as she really was. Cod took one look at Angela and decided one of Castle's leftovers or not, he was extremely fortunate to have a woman as beautiful as this one on his arm.

He smiled and held out his arm. "I'm honored Ms. Cabello, please come take my arm before you change your mind." Angela giggled at that. "I have no intention of changing my mind. Please call me Angela."

Maria smiled and relaxed, happy to see Angela taking a positive step forward. Even if it wasn't the one she'd hoped for. She wanted to be mad at Kate but she couldn't be. It wasn't in her nature. She could see how much Kate loved Castle simply in her bearing around him and in her eyes. And that Castle loved her was also obvious. Still she would have a little talk with Kate.

The luncheon and reception went pretty much as all these formal things do and while it was nice Castle and Kate could barely suppress their desire for it to be over. At last it was and they got some time to themselves.

Cod volunteered to show the rest of the ladies around the base, which they accepted. Kate asked castle if they could go somewhere and talk. He suggested his quarters so he could remove his sword. (Naval officers always wore their swords at change or installation of command ceremonies) In his quarters castle removed his coat and sword belt and put the sword and belt away. Kate kicked off her shoes and settled on his couch, tucking her legs under her. He sat beside her, putting his arm around her. "What do you want to talk about, Kate?"

She snuggled up against him. "Us. I love you I'm in love with you and have been for a long time. I was only with Josh because I thought he was safe and I thought that you didn't love me. I liked him, a lot, but I never loved him. I was afraid to be with you as a lover, because I was afraid that I'd ruin it, like I always do, ruin what we already had. You saved my life the night I came to you. You saved my sanity and my self- respect and over time I realized that I love you so much that living without you is impossible. So I want a future with you and no one else. You are my one and done."

She sighed and looked deep into his eyes. "I'm done with waiting. I'm healed and I want you in every way a woman can have a man. I want to make love with you. I want to go from being your girlfriend to your fiancée then your wife. I want to bear your children. I want to be a mother to Alexis. I want to sit and watch our grandchildren play. Do you want all these things Rick?"

Looking right back at her Castle said, "Yes Kate I do. I have loved you almost from the first case we worked together. I want all the things that you want. We can be engaged tomorrow, if you want but we can't marry till this deployment is over. I won't leave a widow to mourn me."

Kate pulled his head down to hers and sought his mouth. Biting his lip and thrusting her tongue into his mouth. The kiss lasted until they had to release each other to breathe. Kate smiled in triumph. "I'm not waiting for tomorrow Rick, so I'm asking you. Commander Richard Edgar Castle will you marry me?"

Still a little shocked, Castle replied. "Yes Katherine Houghton Beckett I will marry you." She kissed him again then reached into her purse, taking out two small boxes. From the first she took the two Mizpah coins on their chains and fastened one around his neck asking him to fasten the other around hers. She then opened the other box and pulled out a heavy platinum ring done in Celtic knots.

She slipped it on his left ring finger where he would eventually wear his wedding band.

"It's a promise ring Babe, not to remind you but to tell the whole world that you are mine. Are you off duty for the rest of the day?"

He nodded and said, "All this weekend and on Monday we begin a two week pre-deployment leave."

Kate was appalled. "Two weeks from Monday, that's all? Rick I am in this all the way as I said you're my one and done. If you are really committed to me, it's for the rest of our lives. I will never leave you, never divorce you. Never let you doubt my love for you."

Castle stood and pulled her to her feet, pulling her into his arms. He kissed her long and deep. When they came up for air, he said, "I'm all the way in Kate. You are my greatest and final love. I will never leave you by choice. I will never divorce you. I will love you for eternity. If we have children they will be part of that love."

Her eyes shining with love Kate said, "This may sound pushy Rick but can we go get our rings, right now? I want that engagement ring on my finger for everyone to see. I also need to buy a swim suit. The bikini I bought to impress you, I don't want to wear in front of other men. I'll buy a one piece."

Rick opened his laptop and googled local jewelry stores. He spotted on in Mira Mesa that was family owned and specialized in Celtic themed jewelry. He showed it to Kate. "What do you think?"

"Let's try it first." She replied. He put his coat back on, retrieved his hat and they went to his truck. He'd always admired the two door Chevrolet Tahoe SUV but never had bought one in New York. Salt used on the roads being a big factor plus having little chance to use one. When he got to California he'd decided to buy one. He'd found a used one with a perfect body and decent interior. He'd had the frame gone through, the front and rear suspension replaced with that of a Cadillac Denali and a brand new engine, transmission and drive line. The interior, sound system and all other electronics were replaced. Except for the body and frame the truck was a Cadillac Denali. The body shop of the Cadillac dealer had painted it.

Kate immediately loved the truck with its' old school rugged looks and ultra- modern technology. Castle walked around and opened the passenger door for her. She had to hike her skirt a little to climb in. She smirked when she caught Castle looking. "Do you like what you see Rick? Just wait for tonight!"

The drive to the jewelry store was a short one; the store was small but elegant. An elderly man came up to them. Slim and dapper he smiled. "My name is Sean O'Malley Commander, how may I be of service to you and the lovely lady?"

"I'm Commander Richard Castle and this is my fiancée Katherine Beckett. We are looking for her engagement ring and may well buy the wedding set as well. We are hoping for a Celtic style as we both have Celtic ancestry."

The old man smiled. "We do have some lovely sets; all of ours are imported from Ireland. Please have a seat. I need to get the trays from the back. In later years Kate would often wonder at the chance that brought them to that store. She had envisioned having to traipse from store to store. It didn't happen. The first tray he brought out held what Kate thought was the perfect set.

The engagement ring was platinum decorated with Celtic knots and had a perfect two carat blue-white diamond flanked by two emeralds. The wedding band was also platinum with Celtic knots and had three small diamonds with two emeralds flanking the central diamond. The man's band was in the warrior style. A massive ring of platinum with raised edges of yellow gold with the same knots diamonds and emeralds. Kate's eyes lit up when she saw the set. "We don't need to look any further Rick, this is it."

"Are you sure Kate?"

"Absolutely Babe. We could look all day and get confused but we don't need to. I want this one." The old man smiled in delight. Not only at the sale but at the look of pure joy on Kate's face. I can have the rings sized and ready in two hours. Is that soon enough?

Rick nodded. "Yes, we have some shopping to do. Kate wait here I'll be back in five minutes. I'm going to the bank for some cash." True to his word, Castle was back in five minutes and paid for the rings.

They went to the nearby mall and did some shopping. Kate found a one piece that while not showing off too much was still flattering to her slender figure and a wrap-around to go with it. A pair of beach sandals completed the outfit. Smiling to herself she picked out a pair of board shorts and a Hawaiian shirt for Castle, in a periwinkle blue. A color she loved in the way it brought out his eyes.

Returning to the shop they picked up their rings and Castle slipped the engagement ring on her finger. She held her hand up to admire the ring. It was elegant, not flashy and sent a very clear message. By now it was getting late enough to think about dinner so they drove to her hotel so she could freshen up. He went back to the base to do his own freshening telling her that he'd be back in an hour to pick her up.

When he reached his quarters he called his attorney in New York. (Rick was a very important client and had the lawyer's home number) He instructed him to add Kate to his will and fax him the document in the morning for his signature.

They had dinner at a small family owned steak house that castle had discovered when he was on his first tour with the SEALS. The son of the founder was running it now, with the same high standards his father had established. When he noticed how often Kate was gazing at her hand he knew why and presented the happy couple with a complimentary bottle of Champagne. Try as she might, Kate couldn't imagine a more romantic dinner.

After dinner they changed into their beach wear and headed to the beer blast. Kate was somewhat disappointed that the truck had bucket seats; she wanted to snuggle against Castle, which surprised her. Before Castle she'd never been the kind of girl who liked to snuggle.

The party had been going on for half an hour before Castle and Kate arrived. There were plenty of hoots and catcalls and comments about officers arriving late. The Command Master Chief, learning that there were several ladies expected who might not care for beer had a cooler full of red and white wines and another of soft drinks for any under- age guests. Martha and Maria were chatting with a few other mothers, Alexis and Laurie flirting with some of the young sailors who weren't SEALS but worked in support roles. Angela was talking to Cod and a couple of other officers.

Castle and Kate walked up to Martha. "Mother, Maria can we pull you away from your group for a minute?" Castle said. They walked a little distance from the group, and then Castle said, "Wait just a moment, I have to get Alexis." He walked over to Alexis, tapped her on the shoulder and said, quietly, come with me please." When they were all gathered together Castle smiled and his blue eyes lit up with happiness. He said, "Except for the last two and a half months Kate and I have with each other almost every day for the past three and a half years. You get really close that way and get to know each other's secrets. We are partners. Well, we are now partners in every sense of the word. He lifted her left hand. We are engaged!"

Alexis was the first to react. She let out a shriek of happiness and excitement, hugged her father then immediately hugged Kate. "Oh my God, I am so happy! Martha, of course was more restrained. She simply said, "Congratulations my dears. It was about time. She hugged Kate. Welcome to the family, Katherine darling."

Maria kissed Castle's cheek. "_Bambino,_ I am happy for you. I was hoping that it would be Angela but if this woman is what your heart wants you both have my blessing. She turned to Kate. "Three selfish, cruel women hurt my _Bambino._ Don't be the fourth." Kate looked into the intense, dark eyes of the small woman.

"I won't be, Mrs. Cabello. I love him so much. He is so much more than I deserve. Maria smiled. "If you are true to that, God and I will bless you."

They joined the main part of the party, Castle grabbing a beer for each of them. It didn't take Kate long to realize how tight a bond these men had. The enlisted men obviously had respect for their officers but there was none of sharp division that she'd come to expect from movies and books about the military or even in her experience between the white shirts and the rank and file of NYPD.

Kate was laughing at something one of the petty officers said when there was a loud "All right, AT EASE. Everybody quiet. The Command Master Chief stood on a few piled up shipping pallets. All eyes turned to the Chief. Either he was more observant than Kate realized or somebody talked.

He said, very formally, "Commander Castle the officers and men of SEAL team nine request that you come up here and bring your beautiful companion with you." Smiling, Castle led a confused Kate up to the Chief and they both climbed onto the pallets. Kate was already blushing at being the center of attention.

The Chief was grinning ear to ear when he said, Sir, being the senior intelligence NCO and the trained observer that I am, I detected a shiny object on the lady's left hand. Would you care to explain sir? Castle's grin matched the Chief's.

Castle's face radiated pride and pleasure as he announced, "All right, listen up! This beautiful woman is Ms. Katherine Beckett and she has graciously agreed to be my wife." Castle was a popular officer. A round of cheering broke out. SEALS being what they were almost universally were wise-asses. The Chief had quickly found a few sailors with guitars and they began to sing "Kiss the girl" from the little mermaid. Kate blushed a fiery red as Castle did just that.

As they stepped off the pallets Kate heard one of the female sailors say; "Do you believe it? That chick harpooned the Orca."

Kate raised an eyebrow. "The Orca huh, that's you I suppose, why do they call you the Orca?"

"Don't ask."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine: Commander Castle's Lady**

Kate found out, that night, to her pleasure why they called him the Orca. They could have called the Energizer Orca. She awoke way later than her usual six AM snuggled happily in his arms. She was a little sore, in muscles that hadn't been used in a while but it was such a pleasant ache that she didn't regret it for a second. She's obviously had sex before but this was something so far beyond mere sex. This was making love, a spiritual experience as well as physical. It was a unique joining that she'd never felt before. Rick was the perfect combination for her. Aggressive enough to thrill her, yet so very gentle and attentive to her needs.

This, on top of all the rest cemented one fact in her mind. This man was it for her. For the rest of her life she would hold his heart as he held hers. She would marry him and never give him a chance to doubt her love. She'd slept in the nude not wanting anything between them and that was something she'd never done before. The feeling of his skin against hers along the length of her body was electrifying and soothing at the same time.

Lying there, watching him sleep Kate made a decision. She kissed him awake, placing feather-light kisses along his jaw and on his mouth. He slowly came awake. He normally awoke almost instantly, ready for anything but his sense of ease, of completion made his normal alertness desert him for a while. He smiled up at the lovely creature smiling down at him.

"Good morning my love." Her voice was a caress in itself. Her kiss this time was full on his mouth, nothing light about it but something delightful in it, a kiss of promise, and a kiss of devotion. She wanted to lay there with him but her body was making demands. She needed the bathroom rather badly and after last night's activities she was ravenous. She crawled out of bed and quickly entered the bathroom.

After finishing with the toilet she called out; "Rick I'm going to shower, don't you want to come shower with me? I need my back washed." He was with her in seconds, taking the loofa from her and gently washing not only her back but every inch of her body. As his hands lingered a little too long on her inner thighs she grabbed his wrists and said, laughingly; "Oh no you don't I would love a little shower sex but after three times last night I'm a little tender."

He laughed and finished washing her even shampooing her hair. She returned the favor, bathing him. She applied her make-up while he shaved. They had stopped at his quarters, after the beer bash to pick up clothing and his toiletries kit and then proceeded to her hotel.

She grinned at him and said; "Hurry up and get dressed, you worked me so hard last night that I'm famished. Come on and feed your woman."

He laughed at her, the merriment dancing in his eyes. "I didn't hear you complaining about it at the time."

She tossed her head, giving him an impudent grin. "I didn't and I'm not but I am hungry!"

They dressed quickly and suddenly Kate began laughing.

""What's so funny?" Castle inquired.

Wrinkling her nose Kate said, "We are. It wasn't planned but look at us. I'm _the lady in red_ and you're _the man in black_. Castle couldn't help laughing with her. She was wearing a bright red silk blouse with dark red pants and red pumps. He wore black jeans, a black polo shirt and black western boots. They went to a local restaurant famed for its' waffles. Castle couldn't guess where such a slender woman was putting it all. She had Belgian waffles, two eggs, four rashers of bacon, half a cantaloupe and coffee of course. He was a big man so he put down a full hunter's breakfast.

Finished with breakfast Castle took her to the mall and said, "I have a little business to take care of, why don't you do a little shopping and I'll meet you at the Coffee Hut in an hour."

She agreed, kissed him lightly and hopped out of the truck. He went back to his quarters and checked his printer. Three copies of the new will were there. As a commissioned officer of the United States his signature was sufficient. A notary was not necessary. He faxed one copy back to his lawyer and took two copies. He filed one and took the other with him.

Kate had called Martha and Alexis to meet her at the Coffee Hut. She had something to say to Castle and she wanted both Alexis and Martha there. The mall was only five minutes away from their hotel so Alexis and Martha had no problem arriving before Castle. She explained to them what she wanted and both of them heartily agreed.

Castle arrived promptly on the hour and handed Kate the document he was holding, a huge smile on his face.

Kate looked at him quizzically. "What's this Castle?" He just smiled a little larger.

"Open the envelope, Kate." She opened it and her eyebrows rose, very surprised.

"Your will Rick, why are you giving me a copy of your will?"

"That should be fairly obvious Kate; I just put you in it. You're my fiancée. If anything happen to me, I want you taken care of."

She took his hands in hers and looking deeply into his eyes she said; "That brings up something I want to talk to you about. It concerns you and me but Alexis and Martha too. Let's get some coffee and get a table." They all got coffee and went to a corner table as secluded as they could get. When they were all seated Kate took Castle's hands again and started her plea. Her eyes spoke louder than her words. "Rick thank you for putting me in your will but I don't care about the money. What I want is you. You can try to deflect it as much as you want but the blunt truth is that you are going into action. I overheard two of your officers talking last night. I know that you received your warning orders. She took a large swig of her coffee. Rick you said that you wouldn't leave a widow behind to mourn you. Do you really think that I would mourn you any less if I were your fiancée?"

She paused for another swig. "I want to get married this week. If, God forbid, I should lose you at least I'll have some happiness and a week or ten days of bliss is more than some women get in a lifetime. Please Rick, if you love me as much as you say you do, give me this. Give us this. Give Alexis a mom. I know that Meredith is her mother but she's never been a mom. I already love Alexis as my daughter and Martha has been so much a mother figure for me in these past months, I want that too.

I don't need a big wedding with a glittering reception. All I need is a chapel, a priest a white dress, our family and you." Castle knew that by family she meant Esposito, Lanie and Ryan as well as her dad, Martha and Alexis.

Alexis spoke up, almost as pleading as Kate. "Dad, please do this for us. I want Kate as my mom. When we get back to New York I want her to move into the loft. It will be wonderful to have my mom right there, all the time not someone dropping in to visit whenever she feels like it."

Martha chipped in. "Richard, you know how long I wanted a daughter-in-law I could love and really enjoy spending time with. Neither Meredith nor Gina ever came close. I already love Darling Katherine."

Castle looked at the three people that he loved most. That they were united in their position really made the decision for him. If that's what they needed then he was not going to deny them. His eyes danced as he said; "If you truly want this, yes Kate. This week. Then he said; is this how it's going to be, all three of the Castle women ganging up on me?"

"Yes!" they chorused. Then the three women swarmed him. Kate first, of course, seeking his mouth and holding the kiss long enough to cause stares from several other patrons. Alexis and Martha both hugged him and kissed his cheeks.

"If we're going to get this done we had better get the show on the road. Castle said. I'll call my lawyer have him fax copies of my birth certificate and divorce decrees today. He keeps those files in his office. Kate, your dad can send a copy of yours. We can't get the license until Monday but if we get all the other ducks in a row we can have the license by noon. I'm pretty sure that I can reserve the base chapel for Tuesday or Wednesday."

"I'll call Lanie and the boys. I'm sure that the captain will give them a few days off and I know that Lanie can get the time too. Kate was almost bouncing with excitement.

They finished their coffee and left, headed for Kate's hotel room. As soon as they got there the calls began. Castle's lawyer grumbled a bit about having his weekend interrupted but it was really pro forma. He and Rick were friends and his annual retainer was such that he didn't really mind. Rick didn't impose on him that much.

"_Hey Rick what's with interrupting my golf game on Saturday afternoon? Are you in trouble again?"_

"_No Joe, I'm getting married next week and I need some documents ASAP. I don't know why you keep annoying that little white ball, you're just a duffer!"_

"_So you are in trouble again. Okay what documents do you need?"_

Kate's first call was to her dad, who while surprised at the news, was elated. He liked Rick and knew that he'd be good for Kate. He hadn't heard such lightness in her voice in years. He would get the birth certificate and fax a copy. He would also bring a copy with him. He'd be there tomorrow night.

Lanie positively squealed with delight and promised that she'd be there on Monday afternoon. She wanted to know what color dress she should get. She would be the maid of honor.

The calls to Esposito and Ryan were a little more dramatic, as both of them were completely unprepared for this turn of events and threw questions at her, right and left. She finally told them that she didn't have time for twenty questions and to just go ask the captain for the time off.

They called back an hour later. Kate was busy so she set the phone down and put it on speaker phone. Castle stood by her listening. Both Esposito and Ryan said that they would be there Monday afternoon and Ryan asked, rather hesitantly if he could bring Jenny. Castle knew why Ryan was hesitant. Castle smiled at the thought. He remembered the days when he had to stretch his budget. He cut in. "Sure Ryan, bring her along. Don't worry about it. I'm covering the cost of all four tickets and your rooms. No arguments allowed. You all know that I can afford it."

For once Kate didn't argue with him on how much he was spending. She finally realized that using his money to help his friends was one of his great pleasures. He really didn't care about the amount of money he had, only what he could do with it. And not like many other celebrities spending only on their own lavish lifestyles. There were several charities that received regular donations without knowing who it came from.

Martha sauntered over to where the couple was standing. "Richard, go call the chaplain and make the arrangements. We ladies are going dress shopping. Maybe Katherine can't have the custom wedding dress she deserves but there are some very nice off the rack ones out there."

Alexis said; "Since Kate's now going to be my mom, I want to help pick out her dress, because when I get married I want to wear it." Kate was completely overwhelmed by the statement and just grabbed Alexis in a hug. She couldn't speak past the lump in her throat.

Alexis checked her smart phone for bridal shops in the area and found several. A trio of well- known chains and two that looked small and exclusive. Alexis programmed the locations into the mapping app on her phone then they all piled into their rental car and headed out.

Castle called the chaplain's office and surprisingly was put straight through to the senior chaplain. "Chaplain McMahon speaking, how may I be of service?" castle liked the cheery sound of the chaplain's voice.

Castle introduced himself. "This is Commander Richard Castle, chaplain; I am the commanding officer of SEAL Team Nine I would like to reserve the base chapel for an afternoon wedding either Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon."

"Wednesday afternoon is open Commander may I ask who is getting married?"

Castle smiled at the question. "My fiancée and I are."

"I see, the chaplain replied. This is rather short notice Commander have you thought this through?"

"Yes we have. It may be short notice but we have known each other for several years and have worked closely with each other in that time."

"If I authorize the use of the chapel I will need to meet with you and your fiancée."

"This isn't my first rodeo Padre and we have a lot to do yet."

"Nonetheless I need to meet with you. Why don't you meet me right after services tomorrow? It wouldn't hurt for you to attend a service."

Castle was somewhat annoyed but decided that it was better to keep on the chaplain's good side.

"Very well chaplain, we'll be there."

"Thank you Commander, services are at ten hundred hours. We'll meet at my chapel office at 11:15. Good day Commander."

Castle immediately called Kate. When she answered he said; "Kate we have to meet with the base chaplain tomorrow at 11:15 to get use of the chapel. He also wants us to attend church so can you buy a pair of white gloves and a hat? I know that it's old fashioned but it's the Navy way. Mother can advise you if you need it."

Kate loved the fact that she was looking for her wedding dress but hated the hassle of actually shopping. Surprisingly, Alexis was pickier than she was but her fashion and style sense was better than Kate's. Kate's feet were aching by the time they found the perfect dress. Of course it was in the very last shop, a small family owned business.

Kate and Alexis spotted the dress at the same time and they both exclaimed, "This is it!" Kate tried the dress on it was almost a perfect fit, only requiring a couple of light alterations. The sales person told them that it would be ready Monday afternoon. Alexis and Martha found their dresses in the same shop.

Kate's gown was made of white silk with a beaded bodice that ended just above her breasts with Irish lace covering her shoulders and upper torso flowing into long sleeves. The floor length skirt flared slightly from the waist. Martha and Alexis chose identical one shoulder floor length dresses in pale lavender chiffon. The owner came in and overheard Kate talking to Martha about the hat and gloves. She didn't carry hats but had a friend who owned a millenary shop just a few blocks away.

Their errands completed, the three tired women returned to the hotel, completely satisfied with their day. Kate went out to dinner with Rick but the other two just ordered from room service.


End file.
